Saturday, December 29, 2007

Lesson learned - Alicia Keys feat. John Mayer

Saya suka sangat lagu tu. Pasal lagu sedap plus John Mayer ada. Tapi sikit sangat la part dia. Best la tapi, sorang terrer main piano, sorang lagi gila gempak main guitar(even if dlm lagu tu tak obvious sangat). Good combo kan?. Tolong eh my birthday nanti belikan John Mayer punya album. Ntah siapa pinjam 1st album dia kat skolah dulu, hilang terus.

[How's that for writing like the way you talk]

Friday, December 28, 2007

Minus One

Some people actually justified her death, claiming that she deserved it.To me, whatever she's done is between her and God,and not for us mere mortals to decide or punish her for.

May Allah swt forgive her and all of us,and may there be hope & peace in Pakistan, despite the chaos.

Al Fatihah to Benazir Bhutto.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

All I Want For Christmas Is....

Lately, my craving for an ipod has gotten worse and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. It's all I can think about, other than some personal issues that I need to settle. I've been wanting it since the post-SPM period but the loss of handphones keeps on delaying that process and now, I'm officially broke! Yes, I've been using my own personal money for allowances the past semester and unless my boss decides to give money anytime soon, my savings will be reduced to an amount that I cannot bear to say. I honestly think I deserve that Ipod. I've been saving the past sem, I can't remember the last time I went shopping(minus the 1st shopping session I had with ngah) and I've been really good in terms of money-spending that me and Scrooge can be called best-buddies.


Friday, December 7, 2007

And in the busiest of days,I shall just sit down and whistle...

You wait and wait for the right moment to arrive but you soon figure out that such moments just don't come by that easily anymore.

One knows they've reached that certain age or point in life when they get satiated with the things around them - things which may no longer serve its original state of being cause they just can't match up with our expectations anymore.Like,how some certain things/people no longer aspire you the same way they used you get jaded with the prospects of going to work or uni;the idea of jumping into a pool from a two-storey building no longer excites you in the same way it used to;how every day resembles a repetitive and vicious cycle that repeats itself;how you wake up one day only to realise that the person sleeping next to you is not the one you'd want to spend the rest of your life with.Y'know..stuff like that.

It scares the hell out of me.

I don't want to be accustomed to the feeling of being jaded,Gof forbid that.And mostly,I don't want the inner child within myself to leave just because I'm growing up.It doesn't HAVE TO be that way,does it?

Well,that's when you suddenly realise that you desperately need something to hold on to,something to remind you of the enthusiasm or the immortal spirit you thought you once had.Just SOMETHING or ANYTHING for you to cling on so that you don't fall into the clutches of the ugly realities in life.

Oh well.At least I still have one thing to look forward to: the promise I made to move in together should me and my friends end up winding single by the age of 30.

Talk about growing up =P

Otherwise,I'd like to think that somewhere in this small world,there's room left for me.

Friday, November 30, 2007


They say that pictures are worth a thousand words. I guess I'll let the pictures do the talking

Alhamdulillah. To all the people who have put their faith on us and me especially, I couldn't thank you more. It was a 'challenging' journey(both mentally and PHYSICALLY- 2 bottles of 100plus in the morning of the quarter finals!) and we wouldn't have made it through without you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Butterflies for a different reason

I've been doing it for a few years, but the feeling remains the same. It never fails to feel like how it felt during the first time. Tidur tak lena, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah. That sunking feeling deep inside the stomach. The inability to indulge in great food when they're right in front of you, the inability to sleep the night before, or even during 'it'.

Ladies and Gentleman, that is the effect of a debating tournament towards me.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

3 unspoken words

Could it be that we can’t admit it?
Could it be that we’re dying to reveal but just can’t find the words?
Could it be that we want it to be a secret?
Could it be that we both don’t want to end up regretting?

You don’t want to say just for the sake of saying…those 3 unspoken words.
I don’t want you to say it just because…

So,we might as well keep it a secret...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I know I shouldn't blog until I've finished reading. I'm currently reading John Grisham's The Client. It comes with The Street Lawyer too. It's cheaper when you get omnibus version's of books from authors that you like. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and strangely on extra-curricular activities. I should participate in more activities. I miss the excitement of learning something completely new. Someone suggested getting active in campus politics. Yes, someone whose face is currently in the wufi's bulletins. I never knew I can actually fit in the 'wufi' picture. I'm not completely striking it off but as of now, I don't think 'certain' people can stand me. Especially when one wants to revamp the whole system :). After all, politics is all about trying to please as much people as you can. If there's one thing in the world that does not have any rules - it's politics! Lightning can strike anytime...

Well, how about mooting? Pie's been getting active in it. Congratulations to her, with her hard work and talents she's been suppressing, she's the captain of her team despite being only in her 1st sem. I know I once said earlier that I will never do mooting as long as I live and I'm thinking that statement is just the-heat-of-the-moment-thing. I cannot avoid mooting if I'm doing law, and if you're talking about the hard work, well... everything in life needs hard work. I think I'll try mooting, for the sake of knowledge.

And there's debate. You shouldn't let just one thing defines your life right? You should maximize your uni life as best as you can and have much fun as you can.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


I'll only blog once I've finished a reading book. Never underestimate the amount of knowledge you can gain from books, even fictions too. I'm never good with non-fictions but I think I should get starting on it, you know-for knowledge wise. It should be fun reading non-fictions without pressure. Yes, having that book review for Clash of Civilizations does makes it a major turn-off for me to actually finish the book. Even though at a certain point, it sounds like some 'conspiracy theory', there's actually some good points inside it.

I'll think I'll go back to fictions first before jumping off to non-fictions. And there's that 4 issues of The Economist still waiting to be read after putting it behind for exams. I found it to be a better reading material than TIME-less on gossips, more in depth analysis. It does take a while to adjust to because I'm not used to reading what I believe to be sophisticated articles where the writers assumes you know everything but practice makes perfect. Wouldn't want dad's gift to me for a year-free of subscription goes to waste. So I guess I'll be dedicating this holiday that I have(minus Royals debate) for reading.

Congratulations for cousin Ayie (yup, I'll still call you ayie when the world calls you Khai) for being elected Chairman of UKEC. Good job so far on Ceku .

Saturday, November 10, 2007

This I promise you

IRONICALLY, the first thing I plan to do after my exam (i.e. this wednesday) is to buy a new shoe rack in IKEA. The sight of my shoes scattered all over the entrance is quite alarming. It's as if they're screaming out to me "Save/Wear us,you idiot!"

And you know what's the worst part?

It's when you keep on buying them, but wear them only once or twice. Or worst yet,when you actually forgot you own that certain pair of shoes until SOMEONE ELSE reminds you of it. Yikes!!!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Exam Mode

In the midst of exam week.

2 done,2 more to go!

Wish me luck and please pray for me.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

How do you EFFECTIVELY let go?

I guess you just don't.

And that's the very reason why I'm smiling now.

Thank you.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Now it's better to listen to a song(especially the latest songs) through your mp3player or the radio without having to switch on to the tv or youtube. Video musics right now are disturbing- according to my definition of disturbing that is. I've been listening to this one particular song for weeks and only today stumbled upon the video clip. Now I can't listen to the song with what I had initially on my mind regarding the song- that's the thing that keeps the song interesting even after a few weeks. The video just ruined it. Mainstream music is now all about sex and sex and more sex. I guess that's why the alternative is so much appealing to me now.

In a way that does reflect the world that we're living in. Al-Islam got it right this time.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


For those of you wondering,the title "reincarnation" above refers to the rebirth and transformation of my ancient (note: ANCIENT) Nokia 6288 phone to my new Sony Ericsson K770i !!! Am digging the color (ultra violet) and the sleek design so yes, I'm happy but more importantly,relieved now that I no longer have to rely on others since the godforsaken incident.

I hope the person who stole my phone will pick up an ear infection or something like a rigid eardrum for making those few days an ultimate hellish experience for me.Yes,you heard me right,Mr/Ms Sneaky Thief!

Anyway,my finals are in 2 weeks (more or less) hence my blogging sessions would temporarily come to an end - that is,if I don't get to squeeze in some extra time.Instead,I'd probably lock myself up in my room,dwell on my ATA (and that's Accounting Transaction & Analysis) tutes while stuffing myself with the usual staple pre-exam food (potato chips and the likes of chocolates).

And who said I couldn't multi-task?? =P

Well,nothing much to say actually. Just thought I'd let you guys know that I'm still using the same number in case anyone needs to contact me. That's about it. I'm outta here..

Ferrari's HOLDing on!

World champion Kimi Raikkonen believes he won his first Formula One title because of Ferrari's superb teamwork.

Trailing Lewis Hamilton by 26 points at one stage, Raikkonen clinched the title after winning the Brazilian Grand Prix.

"We weren't in the strongest position at some points, but we always believed we could recover," said Raikkonen.

"Even in the hard times we stuck together," the Finn added. "I need to thank the team because we always worked hard to improve the situation."

Hamilton's attempt to make history by winning the title in his maiden season ended when he finished only seventh.

The Briton had started the race as title favourite with a four-point lead over team-mate Fernando Alonso and an advantage of seven over Raikkonen.

But Hamilton's challenge was scuppered when problems with his McLaren saw him drop to the back of the field early in the race.

And former world champion Alonso's hopes were dashed as he finished third behind Raikkonen's team-mate Felipe Massa.

Brazilian Massa, who had led for most of the first 50 laps, was overtaken by Raikkonen during the second round of pitstops who held onto the lead to secure victory and the championship..

Raikkonen was quick to praise Massa's contribution to his title success.

"It is great to win both championships," said Raikkonen, referring to Ferrari's constructors' championship success. "I thank the whole team for that, for all their hard work, and Felipe too.

"It was perfect teamwork."

Runner-up in 2003 and 2005, Raikkonen is the third Finnish Formula One world champion after Keke Rosberg (1982) and Mika Hakkinen (1998 and 1999).

Raikkonen is the first driver since the late Argentine Juan Manuel Fangio to win the championship in his first season with Ferrari.

The Finn joined Ferrari from McLaren as successor to retired seven-times champion Michael Schumacher.


It was perfect teamwork. The main reason why I love supporting Ferrari. It was all drama in this final race. Will try to catch a re-run of it. I'm so happy for Ferrari, shows that you don't need spies in your team to win while the other might be full of it. I'm just so happy. Happy. Hehehe... I never liked McLaren, yup... even when Raikkonen was in it. The only way I might like it if Schumacher drives for them which of course will never happen.

Anyway, I still believe that Massa's the man of the race. Let's see how long he can pull this off and I do hope Ferrari will make it clear soon that he's just as important as Kimi. You know, we don't want him to be another Barrichello.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Happy Birthday!

I know this is very late, but happy birthday again nabila(yeah, for your bday's sake, no pann this time). I'm not going to try to write a poem since I cant do one and in the end, I won't be able to express anything except my zero knowledge in poems. Behold, my lame attempt in wishing her happy birthday.

4 things you should know about Nabila(things which I believe can be made public)

1) She and her sister are very close. They're like BFFs, like the Gilmore Girls. You might see them fight occasionally but mereka bagaikan isi dan kuku. There's not a single thing that she knows that Sarah wouldn't(maybe it's different now because of the geographical gap).

Point : She's a very caring sister which is good since we dont see much of that anymore nowadays-point to self.

2) It's hard for her to LIKE LIKE a guy. So when she does, she's going to LIKE LIKE that guy for a long time. That doesn't mean that she's seeking for anything serious right now, or something that isn't serious, it just shows that she lives for NOW. She doesn't plan this sort of thing. You dont have to be Brad Pitt, or the richest one, or the cutest one, or be the perasan-lepak-guy-with-the-i-dont-care-attitude(somehow they like to think its cool) to capture her heart. What matters is your heart(sounds cliche but don't we all?) and how you potray yourself cuz believe me, you can never fix a standard in or even have a description when it comes to her choice. Am I making sense here?

Point : If you manage to win her heart, take good care of it because you ought to know that you're one lucky fella

3) If you want to know what kind of music she likes, try getting inside her brother's head.

Point : If you wanna get a CD for her and you can't hack into her iTunes, try asking her bro what he likes.

4) She's a girl of strong principles and this is one of the reason I'm proud to call her my friend. Be it religious, political.... when she has a stance on something, she will never budge(unless there's a fatwa that declares otherwise)

Point : She's not an easy girl to break

It's 2 am and Im getting sleepy. Forgive me nabila for the lame attempt. Correct me if I'm wrong in the above facts. Cheers~

[there will be a part 2 if I see a demand for it]

Friday, October 19, 2007


Just went back from my 1st ever debate AGM in gombak. Lets just say that it's quite different from what I expected it to be. With the makan2 session in the end. I had a long day... but I managed to fit in Bourne in between the schedule since I know this might be the last movie I'll watch in the coming weeks. The movie was awesome. I never quite liked the 'cat and mouse' movie where 3/4 of the movie is about one dude chasing another dude. Smack smack, kill kill, shoot shoot, belasah belasah. This one is different. Somehow it's interesting(and no... it's not because Matt Damon is Bourne). Somehow the movie doesn't feel draggy, even with the lots of tumbuk tumbuk part. I feel like clapping at the end of the movie, and apparently I wasn't the only one . It's been a long time since I watched a movies that makes me feel good and I'm glad this movie movie did just that. Kinda reminded me of tkc's film show. I like like this movie.

I still have Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Identity in my book shelf, got it during a sale. It's been there for more than a year, untouched. I really want to read it but somehow I still haven't. My mum said that it's one of the best 'spy2 espionage' books she ever read. She also has Supremacy and Ultimatum in the bookshelf, just waiting to be discovered by her daughter. Gotta postpone again reading fictions, I have 2 test coming up next week and finals coming up soon. I SHOULD study.


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Curious Incident Of A Lost Bag in The Day Time

Just because some shit happened, I shouldn't let it ruin an otherwise perfect day.

Yes, yes. I should be floating in the air now that I've finally got a dress to wear for Malam Gemilang. One problem solved, and I'm left with only my heels to think about (screw the clutch). I thought the dress was a good buy in which I should give credits to Teea for dragging me along to DFO Spencer...well,ughh,kinda (apart from the aftermath,that is) Anyhow, thank you babe! Hope you get to find your dream dress soon =)

Anyways,I've got to run so many errands tomorrow - the trip to the banks (both NAB and CBA), settle my student card, my apartment key with CS, hand in my police report, yada..yada..and of course there's the f*cking BPA essay to think about and let's just hope that bastard (who shall remain anonymous but for the record,it's not you aliya..haha) will leave me alone because if he (yes,it's a he) doesn't, then I swear I'd make his life a living hell. Trust me, you wouldn't want me to. Even I absolutely loathe myself once that inner bitch is unleashed.

Forgive me for my choices of words, but I really don't paraphrase when I'm having one of those shitty days. You know, the day where everything was SUPPOSED to be okay (if not perfect) but turned out the exact opposite instead. The day where things started out smoothly but got worse by the second. The day where ONE incident changed the whole course of your life for at least the next 24 hours or so. So yes, I feel like I deserve to be upset and I'm not going to pretend that nothing's happened or that I'm happy,because clearly,I'm not. Unless you acknowledge and admit your misundertakings and the glitches in your life, you can't get over the discontentment. And because I have the leverage to express my feelings by blogging, then why not? I guess this is what you get in exchange for some freedom of speech/expression (sorry guys)

It's just that I lost my handbag hence the foul language and the mood swing. Not just the handbag (which is of sentimental value to me), but EVERYTHING else - handphone, my wallet (cash and all my important IDs,licenses,insurance card, tram ticket,etc), my apartment key, my perfume, most of my make up, my stationaries, calculator,ATA lecture notes, my new black umbrella and well..... everything. So yes, I'm utterly devastated beyond words.

Like I said, I don't want to talk about it. Flashes of unwanted memories come barging in.

I just pray that things will turn out better for me....

Don't ask why. I mean it.

Today wasn't a good day. In fact,it was a bad one. Horrible, disastrous,catatrosphic to say the very least.

It's true that shit happens,but why oh why am I still thinking about IT? sigh.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Eid Mubarak :)

A happy belated Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin! =)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Somewhere in between

You know somewhere in between like and love?

Yes,that's it. Funny how it's been ages since I last felt this way.

The butterfly in the stomach thing... I think it takes a little getting used to.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Battle of the bulge

I've lost weight. My pants are getting looser, and Jolyn commented on my obvious collarbone (which I still think has been pretty much the same since its mere existence). I just hope Jolyn (or myself) ain't hallucinating.

OK,so maybe I haven't been eating as much as I used to,or perhaps it's just the crazy waitressing job that's putting me off the scale BUT contrary to popular belief, I personally HATE it when I look like I've lost heaps of weight. Sure, I'd like to shed off a few kilos here and there but I just don't want it to be obvious enough for people to really take notice of it. I know it sounds paradoxical but that's the truth.

I mean, I know I sometimes mention about my weight and over-exaggerate things, but I'm really really grateful for what I have,including my body. Not excited,over-zealous or even in love with it but like I said, just grateful.

You see,the so-called complicated mystery behind every girl's anatomy isn't really hard to explain.

For a start, there are several categories of us girls:

1) The perfectly-comfortable-in-my-own-skin type: This type knows what she's got and not. She perfectly knows how to play the game - she's happy with her best assets (whichever that is) and glamorously flaunts it whilst cleverly hiding places she shouldn't be showing. At the end of the day, she knows she's done the right thing.

2) The attention-deficit/mengada-ngada type: This type is AWARE and CONCIOUS that people take notice of her - whether it's her flawless skin, her gorgeous silky hair, her captivating blue eyes, her curves or just about everything. She's either got too much compliments and just fishing out for more, or lack of attention and seeking for some. Either way, she tries to point out everything "bad" about her, naturally hoping to be comforted with (surprise...surprise..) MORE compliments. Her definition of beauty depends a lot on others, and more often than not, this type lacks the sense of individualism.

3) The all-star: And then there's also the type who's got it all. Gorgeous looks+hot bod+a great fashion sense and a striking personality (or maybe not) that comes with it. At the end of the day, she knows she's hit the jackpot.

4) The health freak: This type typically has a strong personality - very focused, disciplined and straight-up. She's either been through a phase of weight issues and vows not to ever let history repeat itself OR simply concious right from the start.

5) The I-don't-give-a-kiloshit-about-my-weight: Whether she's attractive or not, she just couldn't care less. Their motto: Why should we conform to the social norm? OR I'm just too lazy to do anything about it.

6) The super-concious type: This type is slightly intriguing. They've got the looks or the body but refuse to acknowledge it because of their superlow self-esteem. Usually in denial about their good physique.

So,which one are YOU? (or at least closest to?) =)

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

iftar with a few uni mates

Mac and cheese never failed farah

Luckily Shera mentioned Shrek only after me and Myra finished with it

Some of us were craving for Secret Recipe so Shera suggested JJ Wangsa Maju for iftar. The usual people except for Sarah. We went there around 540pm+ after classes. Apparently, all the tables were fully reserved. To make it worse, all the tables in Shakey's, Johnny's, McD and KFC were also fully booked. Hancur luruh hati. So we went to Secret Recipe dekat Ong Tai Kim. Luckily, there's a lot of empty spaces even when its time to berbuka already. Farah and Myra tried some of those 'celebrity cookouts' which turned out pretty great while me and Shera decided to play it safe. The journey to Ong Tai Kim outside the JJ pasar area was horrifying. I kept on praying that i wont hit and bump into anyone. Lately, driving has become a scary thing for me. People are walking as if there's NO car at all infront of them.

I shall miss my regular bazaar outings with farah when ramadhan's over. Hahaha.. our special 'outings'. We had this going on since matrix. Sarah is outta the club already :)

A dear friend just called. It's good to know that I'm still capable of providing some good advices even for 'the other side'. Or so I thought.

I just checked out Facebook. There's just too much things in a page that I'm getting dizzy for a while. Will check it out later when I'm not so sleepy..
I woke up REALLY early so that today, I wouldn't miss my MLS class. What a shock when I came upon an empty class, and to know that we wouldn't be having those classes anymore. Yup, finished the syllabus and I missed the class where we were supposed to be discussing on exam questions - and now it's revision time. But seriously, now I've got 1 hour 30 minutes before another class starts. I just hope there wouldn't be any more suprises today. I'm just not in the mood today. For the 1st time this ramadhan, I didnt wake up for sahur.. my room mates dah balik kampung and the only room mate left with me is the one that needs waking up too :).

I'm wondering what happened to the spirit of raya in me. I'm not feeling it anymore. Is it due to the fact that now I got 1 less kampung? I don't want to grow up and be feeling like this. It's miserable. The only thing I'm looking forward to is spring cleaning. Couldn't wait to get rid of tikah's stuffs that's been messing in the room.

Quote of the day : "There are those who claim that one French forward pass has cost a man his career, reputation and dreams"

Some people are still in denial.

My 10-minute walk

An African-Muslim man affectionately strokes his handicapped son's head while that happy child chattered to himself.
A woman in her mid 40's takes her 2 dogs for her usual evening walk.
A couple was strolling around the neighborhood, hand in hand, in silence.
A man buys a hot chocolate for a lady and walks her back home.
One particular gentleman puts down his cup of coffee in search of a few coins. It was that beggar's lucky day.
2 girls exchanged hugs and embraced each other before one of them left.
A passer-by smiles,and says hello. Do I know him? No.

Open your eyes and you'll see that the world is actually filled with love...You'd be surprised :)

Monday, October 8, 2007

Love ridden

Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby..I wished for you

Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over,
So I can't tonight, baby

No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave...

- Fiona Apple, "Love Ridden"

Sunday, October 7, 2007

It's 8.09a.m. (+2hours in Melbourne) and I'm wide awake.

Now that's something completely new to me.

Anyway, here's my plan for the day (not that it matters):

Somewhere between after writing this blog - noon : Accounting tutes
1.30pm: Meeting with Aca and the rest at Asto
3pm: Raya pics in REB (and that's the Royal Exhibition Building for those of you wondering)
6.30: Buka puasa then work at the restaurant till 10/11pm (?)
Night: Macroecons tute/studying and will probly write another post,depending on the situation.

I had to cancel my shopping trip to Bridgeroad with a friend so there goes my supposed-to-be-getting-it-by-today dress (Anita darling,I know you won't be reading this but in case you do, I'll definitely make it up to you NEXT weekend,ok?) =) Anyway, did I mention I just bought JT's concert ticket for a f*cking 150 dollars! That's like a few books in Borders, or/and a few tops in Bridgeroad, or a seafood platter plus dessert at the place I'm working at right now, or two other concert tickets! To think of all the things I'm forgoing for the BETTER be good! =P


Saturday, October 6, 2007

Are we on the same page?

To those who know me well enough, they'd know that I've always had an overwhelming interest in history, or something along the lines of politics or any of its kind. Even back in the old days in school, I've hardly written any other essay besides factual ones. It's something that I thoroughly enjoy working on, something that I find myself doing at my own spare time, a platform for me to express my thoughts because truth be told, I've never been good with expressing my feelings.

Even as a kid, I've always found it extremely hard to open up to others and it frustrates me a lot. I just don’t know how or what exactly to say, or when I do, I find myself trapped in an imbruglio of words. And yet, it frusrates me when people don't get me, the way I am and all but hey, who am I to say that? It's by my own choices and discretions that they don't. I mean, if I were less apathetic and more transparent about my feelings, then I wouldn't be facing all of that crap in the first place.

I don't know. I just find it relatively easier to talk about entities or things other than myself. The thought of telling people my deep inner secrets just makes me feel like I’m at the center of a stage, stark naked. Or the mixed feelings you get after every big exam or debate competition, just right before the results are announced. Yeah, it’s kind of like that for me. More or less.

Hmmmm I reckon it’s the middle child syndrome.

Yeah right.

Unfortunately I’m not one of those people who can share my feelings with others so everything’s bottled up to myself and I end up relying entirely everything on my own. For as long as I can remember, this is how I’ve been functioning. Sure, of course there’s second opinion and sure, I'm very open to other people's stories and I let them know what I feel or think, but that's different, you know? The way I see other people is as if the words PERSONAL CONFIDANTE are naturally plastered on each of their forehead, except mine. And for some reason, people tend to generalize you as the stereotypical heartless, nonchalant bitch who hasn’t got a single shit to worry about in her life just because everything seems to be going her way. Ok, maybe not a bitch but I do get the rest of it. Point is, my life is NOT the way some people think it is. I guess that’s the trouble you get when people can’t read you, or maybe it's the other way round?

I don't know… Maybe I should have more faith in people, maybe I should learn how to trust them more. Maybe I should start believing that it's ok to show the good, the bad and the ugly.

On the other hand, maybe it’s OK to NOT tell people. Maybe that’s just the way I am.

For once, I’d like to think so...

Friday, October 5, 2007

R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts"

In Rainbows

Radiohead's new album, In Rainbows, is coming out on 10.10.2007.

In Rainbows will be released as a digital download available only via the band's web site, There's no label or distribution partner to cut into the band's profits — but then there may not be any profits. Drop In Rainbows' 15 songs into the online checkout basket and a question mark pops up where the price would normally be. Click it, and the prompt "It's Up To You" appears. Click again and it refreshes with the words "It's Really Up To You" — and really, it is. It's the first major album whose price is determined by what individual consumers want to pay for it. And it's perfectly acceptable to pay nothing at all.


For more details:,8599,1666973,00.html

or you can simply visit their official website:

Thursday, October 4, 2007

we SHOULD move on

I love IIU but I hate the fact that it's TOO exam-oriented. But hey, which local U isn't? I just finished my transactions in Islamic Law paper and I dont feel too good about it. I have another second test coming up this saturday, TORT which is supposed to be my favourite subject this semester. It's a different thing, learning for the sake of learning and learning for exams.

On a different note, selection results are out. I'm not suprised with the results especially regarding my own performance. I guess I'm not TOO bummed because I didn't really put that much effort this semester so I have no one to be blamed except for myself. I've been distant a while from debating(2 months?) and I guess it's taken a toll on me. The good news is Alhamdulillah, I'm still in the Royals Junior team with Faiz and Mah(interkulliyyah revival?) and Nabilah Lokmal.

Just killing time waiting for my tutorial to start......................

Life is all about MOVING ON. MOVING FORWARD. The past can be great but don't dwell on it. In case I've forgotten this, please remind me.

Just looking forward to be home this evening :). Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Criminal Minds, House MD and the new show that klok recommends, Gossip Girl. Oh, did I mention that I have exams. Yes, I'm a TV addict.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

science or fiction?

Now Playing: "Closing Time" by Semisonic

I used to think that time has robbed me from the things that I wanted to do but couldn't. Eventually, you'll reach a stage where what's left of your spare time becomes the paradigm of luxury.

I don't know if it's a figment of my imagination,but everything seems to be revolving faster by the day.It's like..It's like I'm surfacing on a fast-motioned road, concious of the obliviousness of others. A few seconds feel more like miliseconds now, and 24 hours just seem too short a time.Sometimes I wonder if time is ever fictional - I've had some moments where I think the notion of "24 hours-a-day" is merely a make-believe quantitative measurement. Then again,that's just me fiddling with my imagination.

Come to think of it, there's only so much you can do within that time frame. I mean, if research and studies indicate that the average hours of sleep a person should be getting is between 6-8 hours, then a quarter of our daily lives are spent just sleeping (that is assuming that we sleep 6 hours and not more). If, for example,that much is emphasized on sleeping, then we've only got the remaining three quarter to spend on everything else - paying the bills, college/uni/work, the trip to the grocery store,shower, lunch and dinner, all the catching up with family and friends, meetings, workload, the journey (plus the hellish traffic jam), the telephone conversations, sex (Just to clear things up,I'm NOT horny.This point is relevant considering the fact that a lot of people emphasize the need for sex which is part and parcel of their daily activitities plus how did you think we got here in the first place?)

The things aforementioned may seem very simple and easy to complete, yet when you add up every little thing in detail, it takes out A LOT of our daily time proportion, which in a way depicts the change in the societal pattern.It amuses me,really.

No wonder people are taking showers instead of baths, and eat out instead of a proper meal with the family at home. No wonder technologically-oriented people like you and I talk on the phone more often instead of the face-to-face conversation, and no wonder people have quickies instead of the good old-fashioned sex (or at least that's what they show on TV) - it's the LACK OF TIME!!!

Yes,everything seems feasible, yet we're still left with very little time to ourselves.

So take a minute or two out of your busy life. Relax and enjoy it.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

i just had to :)

I admit,it was lust at first sight,especially the shoes...I even get mini shoe orgasms just by looking at it.

O....kay.That sounded sooooooo wrong *smirks*

Monday, October 1, 2007

The end of Idol for me

What a disgrace!

Mark de Costa should NOT have been eliminated from Australian Idol at this stage.Even all the judges agreed.
This is,by far, the most incomprehensible thing that has ever taken place in the history of television.Seriously.

That's it! I hate hate hate this country now.And I'm never going to lay eyes on this season of Idol EVER AGAIN :(

(Sounds like an overstatement but true nonetheless)

Sunday, September 30, 2007

My very own Van Gogh :)

It's a good thing that I'm actually investing money on butter, eggs and flour instead of shoes.

Yep,I've religiously embraced the art of baking in a rigorous manner ;)

So here's a sneak peek on my latest profound interest - baking (sheesh I sound like a boring old granny with 50 granchildren to feed).My first ever butter cake plus a simple mixed salad with vinaigrette dressing.
Bon appetit! :)

Next on my list: chocolate mud cheesecake and bread butter pudding........And there we have another 12 more hours to go before buka puasa.Clever of me ey :/

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Girlfriends :)


I wonder...

I just watched Ahmadinejad's Question and Answer Session at Columbia University. From the Columbia President introducing him(which is quite nasty) to Ahmadinejad's own speech. It's an interesting session, I really like how he answers the questions posed. I wonder if we can ever have such freedom of speech. Our politicians are not able to stand such accusations or questions if it's posed to them. They like to hide behind what is said to be 'sensitive' issues instead of addressing them. We can never have such open discussions, coming from a local U, everything is politicized, the lecturers have to constantly remind their students that anything discussed in class should remain within the walls of the classroom.

How are we supposed to learn when there exists such constraints even if these forms of discussions are only for academic purposes- you know, broadening the student's mind. How are we supposed to breed students who think outside the box when you don't even allow them to think properly and freely even inside the box?

Funny how we are supporting the protests against the military right now in Myanmar, the message is LOUD and CLEAR, when we don't even allow our people to protest for what they think is right. Ermm... Batu Burok?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

running away

Perfect stranger

Slow down,take my hand and we'll walk slowly..
I know time is of the essence,but why are you in such a hurry?
You'll end up leaving me alone in this godforsaken place
Please sir, I can't keep up with your pace..

He looked at me,that stranger..
I can't help but quiver
Perhaps it's the effect of the rain,
Or the fact that the sky has weighed its moist upon me
I was convinced,or at least half convinced that it wasn't because of him..

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Now Playing: "Throw it All Away" by Zero 7

I think I'm addicted to this song. The other bands that I've been listening to a lot for these past few days include I Am Robot And Proud, The Go! Team, Stars, Feist, Bjork,Tegan&Sara, The Album Leaf. I hate shifting from one song to another, which explains why I tend to replay a particular song over and over again till I get sick of it - just another one of my old,unusual habits.

Anyway,I feel like I'm not my usual self lately, which is probably a good thing. And when I say that, what I really mean is that I don't really talk much anymore and that I'm not in the mood to do a lot of things nowadays - like talking to people, hanging out, go for a movie, or even SHOPPING (can you believe that?!). Well,presumably because I'm fasting,but usually that's not the case. In fact, that was never the case.

Why do I have the feeling that I'm starting to turn into a loner?

I guess we all turn into one at some point of age, or time.

On second thoughts,maybe it's just me. The fact that I've had an overdose of fun, or that I hang out too much before this might explain the behaviour. So much to a point where I get bored of doing the same thing, with the same people (no offense though).

I mean,I actually enjoy my own company more than I ever did, which is pretty weird,no? I haven't gone out to the city for like almost two weeks (despite the two-week break), haven't bought a single Krispy Kreme in ages, the last movie I watched was 'Hairspray' which was a night before John left for Perth, and I forgot when was the last time I had coffee with my friends! So to those of you who are wondering what the hell have I been doing, the answer is simple: the obvious - sleeping. Gee I feel tired, sleepy and drained out almost all the time.

I think it's about time for me to adjust back to my original biological clock,speaking of which I should be sleeping in a bit....and start exercising soon!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Not a good time to talk.

Now Playing: "Shit Talker" by The Headphones

I'm pissed. So pissed that I don't want to talk about it.So pissed that I don't give a damn if you think it's stupid.So pissed that I don't care what other people say. Extremely pissed and hurt beyond words. Oh wait - maybe it's my fcuking hormones, or the fact that I'm tired. Whatever....I'm pissed.

Maybe it's ten times worse when you're actually pissed at someone you care for - the ones you treat like your own family.

Maybe I should stop before I say things I might regret later. But yeah,I'm basically fcuking pissed... that's my fcuking story.

Happy Birthday!

Now Playing: "Soft Revolution" by Stars

23rd September. Happy 23rd Birthday, dear brother!!!

I'm thinking of getting him a kick-ass birthday present - in need of some kinda help though.

Well, since I can't afford what seems to be the love of his life - sneakers, I was thinking of something else:

a) perfume
b) books
c) rugby jersey (enough of football jerseys already!)
d) a really nice shirt
e) DVD of his fav. bands

So,which one tops the list? Let me know if there's anything else worth getting.

I know it's the thought that counts, but I really want to surprise him plus I think he deserves a great present from me this time =)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Listening to :Midnight Hour - Running Away

Stumbled upon this song in myspace and now I can't get it out of my head. I don't really check my myspace account. I only use the account to access stuffs inside it, like the the latest songs, etc. Woke up at 9am today, it's late considering the fact that I have debate practice that's supposed to start by that time.I arrived in Gombak around 9.5o(sempat isi minyak) and only 30 minutes after that we started to debate. I honestly think that my debating life right now is in quite in a mess but I guess I need time to settle down properly in my 1st sem. I never partnered with any seniors before for any debates(well exception for Lutfi since he's my League partner and Hadi for Rector's cup), so partnering Suhaib and Kiyama today was a different experience.

I have my 2nd test for Contract this coming Wednesday and an Islamic Worldview test sometime next week too. Life hasn't been fun when you live for exams, since I'm taking 7 subjects and I have 2 papers every week. So, it's like 1 month of continuous tests. Did I mention that there's a book review that's supposed to be halfway through now and yours truly is only at pg. 22 now? I'm trying my best to function under duress.

I'm getting along pretty well with my room mates. I enjoy being their room mates but sometimes it's quite frustrating not to have any single Law student in your block. Speaking of them, it just reminded me that I need to burn and bring along a few CD's for them. Wonder if I can force them to watch Friday Night Lights since they've already brainwashed me with Sin Chan. Wish we could have the Indonesian version instead. It could have been funnier.

Nabila : I'll do it sometime next week cay? If you dont mind.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

It's about time

Now Playing: "Get it together" by The Go! Team

I got it! My first ever job! =)

It's in this cosy Italian restaurant called Sale l Pepe, right across Belissimo & Piccolo Mondo. My first try-out was about 2 days ago. Went there at approximately 7pm and the rest, as they say, is history - one filled with bullshitting my way through the tough tide of domestic chores, that is =P Well, it wasn't so much of domestic work - it was more of waitressing than anything else.

Anyway, ever read or watched Godfather? Well, I've always had a sense of admiration or rather a deep curiosity towards the Italian culture, in general - the food, the language, the network, the people (just the guys actually) & anything of the likes. So I was quite flattered when the owner invited me to work at his restaurant as I was making my way back home. That itself has saved my time handing out resumes which I never did anyway, thanks to him. Lol.

To tell you the truth, I was pretty freaked out before the try-out knowing that my experience in waitressing (if any) was almost nonexistent and the fact that I've crapped about my "past experiences" working in some other restaurant, which were obviously a complete myth and a cover-up line on my part. (Somehow I had a feeling that they knew I was lying). 'Come can't screw it, not this one', were the words echoing through my pessimistic-wired mind.

So did I screw up? I don't know and frankly, I don't really care. I'm just thankful I've secured the job so far. Needless to say, the 2-hour training was indeed an invaluable experience for me - from the table arrangements, the placement of dockets, serving etiquettes & techniques, how to arrange the cutleries fine-dining style, how to set up the table,etc – everything’s completely new to me.

The people there are great. Everyone's so sweet and incredibly nice despite my incompatibliity at my first day of work. Or at least they did a great job pretending.Lol. Anyway, it's amazing to witness how the chefs prepare those authentic Italian dishes with your very own eyes. Beats watching Jamie Oliver on TV =) And I like the fact that almost everyone's Italian hence I find it amusing when they speak to each other (and to some of their customers) in their mother tongue. I guess I can see why women (and gay men alike) make a big fuss over Italian guys, generally speaking. They're such gentlemen and pretty sexy I must say..

Anyway,I'm stoked about starting this Monday. The fact that I've never worked before (not even part-time) and the idea of getting your own money, although on a smaller scale, makes me feel really grateful that I've been given the opportunity to be more financially independent. It’s about time…

Friday, September 21, 2007

People are never safe from people

Watching Criminal Minds does in a way help you to analyze what's going on behind these crazy+barbaric+disgusting+disturbing+sick people, how every act the 'unsub' did describes him as a person but still, there's no acceptable justifications to their acts. How do people end up like this? How do people resort to such inhumane behaviour? Rapists usually 'just rape' their victim but this particular unsub is SICK. A sexual sadist. Derives pleasure from inflicting pain from others. I wish not to touch on the details- with all due respect to arwah. I can't imagine how anyone can go through such pain, let alone an 8-year-old girl.

Statistics show that crime rates in Malaysia is going down. Nevertheless, the occurance of 'extreme and barbaric' crime is certainly on the rise. What went wrong? Influence of exposure of violence from the media? So called 'western influences'? I believe that in every person, there is that part of you that can kill or hurt another person. It's just that what separates us from these SICK people is that we restrain ourselves from doing it, or actually think of God before committing something so sinful.

I'm not discriminating people who have mental problem or who are sick, it's just that if they know that they're SICK, they can get help,. but of course.. only a minority of them will resort to it.

The murderer should get what he did to the victim. Memang macam binatang. Binatang pun lagi berperikemanusiaan.

Al-Fatihah to adik Nurin Jazlin. Sesungguhnya Allah s.w.t lebih menyayangi anak kecil ini.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Now Playing: "Above the Waves" by the Jealous Sound

1. Sex&the city re-runs.I'm still not over it.
2. Wentworth Miller's officially gay.I knew he was too good-looking to be straight.
3. I want want want the whole season of SCRUBS!!! Anyone??
4. HOUSE season 4's coming out on channel 10 this october.OCTOBER - oh well.
5. HEROES season2 will be out soon. Marry me,Milo Ventimiglia?
6. Jesse Spencer is officially moving on following his break-up with Jennifer Morrison (Toldja Sarah.There will always be hope in Hollywood) =P
7. David Duchovny seems a bit too old to be playing the extremely perveted Hank Moody,don't u think? Sorry Hank, you're just not cool enough. (Somehow Californication reminds me a bit of Entourage,except that its's never going to be as good)
8. What's with The Sopranos? Best Show for the Emmy award? Urghhhhh.
9. Futurama is now officially funnier than The simpsons.Fry, I love you..

Monday, September 17, 2007

An ode to no one.

I'm lost...
Stuck in that very hole I chose to dig, still and motionless in the transition of time and callous in the translation of human kindness.

I know I shouldn't be feeling that way.
I know I should piece everything back together,locate where things have gone wrong and what I ought to be doing.
I know I should mend the broken and forgive the forgotten.
I know I should've said what needed to be said at a time where freedom was still a bargain, and words still negotiable at my own discretion.
I know I had a choice.
I know I no longer do.

And now, I'm lost...
Stuck in that very hole I chose to dig, still and motionless in the transition of time and callous in the translation of human kindness.

Have I lost that sense of comfort - the sense of belonging that was once second nature to me?
I find myself nodding - much to my own surprise, if not anyone else's.

I am reclused from the people around me by my own choice, gradually drifting away from the realms of reality, yet I am indifferent about it.

Indifferent I have become.

We don't relive the past, yet aren't we all confronted by them?
And when they do,they'll choose to either greet or haunt you...while you silently pray,hope to be understood.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

One Tree Hill. Just when I thought I'm DONE with the show, my sys downloaded the new season's promo, and ME being ME, am so curious to see what's going to happen- u know, since they'll be showing it 4years after they grad.

I'm dissapointed with myself.

Every dog has its day

Now playing: "The Big Fight" by Stars.

Life’s been pretty generous for some people, including myself.
The Kangaroos won against Hawthorn, which I guess was a surprise to many especially after their humiliating loss against Geelong a few days ago. South Africa (go baby go go!) thrashed England for a stunning 36-0 victory! On the other hand, I had a great time brushing up on my ping pong skills (if any) which turned out to be well worth the walk along Lygon Street. Plus I managed to prepare some baked pasta which wasn't so bad after all AND talk to my Mom, aunt and grandma over the phone last night.

So yeah, it’s been an awesome Saturday for me so thank you God =)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. I know I sound like a broken record now but I simply don't care. I LIKE LIKE this show and I can't wait for the 2nd season to start. I'm never a fan of American football, heck it's just too violent for the eyes to watch, but the show did manage to do a god job in capturing the essence of the game. Plus, I'm loving the soundtrack. Explosions in the sky. I hope it wont get 'draggy' as One tree hill in the end, because I think too much happened in season 1 here. Quoting from Haris,' the movie was nice, can't you just get enough of it already?'. I guess you must have known my answer.

Yes people, I'm a tv addict, tho I dont really watch tv infront of tvs now due to my schedule.

p/s: I'm loving Criminal Minds too, the show that is.

Scandinavian queen

Now playing: "Bachelorette" by Bjork.

It's one of my all-time favorite Bjork songs.

Beautifully written.Surprisingly melancholic and very poetic in an almost disturbing way.Kick-ass music coordination.Enough to leave me to my own deep, pensive thoughts.
She may be the epitome of a Scandinavian freak, but a true music genius nonetheless. I suppose it takes a freak to make one FREAKing good music,ey? (and I bet Moby would be more than willing to attest to that.Hehe) =)

Bjork: "Bachelorette"

I'm a fountain of blood
In the shape of a girl
You're the bird on the brim
Hypnotised by the whirl

Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

I'm a path of cinders
Burning under your feet
You're the one who walks me
I'm your one way street

I'm a whisper in water
Secret for you to hear
You are the one who grows distant
When I beckon you near

I'm a tree that grows hearts
One for each that you take
You're the intruder hand
I'm the branch that you break

Friday, September 14, 2007


I'm officially moving here. The idea of blogging with my buddy, Nabila just gets me excited. Melbourne and KL. KL and Melbourne. Bridging the geographical gap. It's hard to come up with the site name and title for this blog so yeah, I guess the whole layout for this blog has not been finalised yet.

I hope this will be a good beginning for a very long journey :)


This is pretty cool.

I never thought I'd join blogspot since I don't feel the need to have more than one blog. Then again, I kinda like the idea of having a joint-blog, more so with my buddy Afifah here.So yeah...I'll take my chances =)

I mean,how BAD can it be,right? It's not like I'm under the risks of having a joint-bank account or joint-ownership on a house or anything.The worst thing that could possibly happen is the self-embarrassment of exposing my sometimes dull life to the general public, but I guess I've done that anyway so I might as well just go ahead with it.Lol.Anyway, I can't help but notice the automatic draft saver just below this field - it's kind of annoying when something pops up after every sentence you type. A bit of a distraction actually (not that Xanga's any better,hell no) That aside, I'm pretty much stoked about the whole idea of blogging now. A new blog and a fresh new start! Exactly what I need =)

Ok,don't want to go into anything else just yet.Save it for another time.