How do you EFFECTIVELY let go?

I guess you just don't.

And that's the very reason why I'm smiling now.

Thank you.

Now it's better to listen to a song(especially the latest songs) through your mp3player or the radio without having to switch on to the tv or youtube. Video musics right now are disturbing- according to my definition of disturbing that is. I've been listening to this one particular song for weeks and only today stumbled upon the video clip. Now I can't listen to the song with what I had initially on my mind regarding the song- that's the thing that keeps the song interesting even after a few weeks. The video just ruined it. Mainstream music is now all about sex and sex and more sex. I guess that's why the alternative is so much appealing to me now.

In a way that does reflect the world that we're living in. Al-Islam got it right this time.

Reincarnation

For those of you wondering,the title "reincarnation" above refers to the rebirth and transformation of my ancient (note: ANCIENT) Nokia 6288 phone to my new Sony Ericsson K770i !!! Am digging the color (ultra violet) and the sleek design so yes, I'm happy but more importantly,relieved now that I no longer have to rely on others since the godforsaken incident.

I hope the person who stole my phone will pick up an ear infection or something like a rigid eardrum for making those few days an ultimate hellish experience for me.Yes,you heard me right,Mr/Ms Sneaky Thief!

Anyway,my finals are in 2 weeks (more or less) hence my blogging sessions would temporarily come to an end - that is,if I don't get to squeeze in some extra time.Instead,I'd probably lock myself up in my room,dwell on my ATA (and that's Accounting Transaction & Analysis) tutes while stuffing myself with the usual staple pre-exam food (potato chips and the likes of chocolates).

And who said I couldn't multi-task?? =P

Well,nothing much to say actually. Just thought I'd let you guys know that I'm still using the same number in case anyone needs to contact me. That's about it. I'm outta here..

Ferrari's HOLDing on!

World champion Kimi Raikkonen believes he won his first Formula One title because of Ferrari's superb teamwork.

Trailing Lewis Hamilton by 26 points at one stage, Raikkonen clinched the title after winning the Brazilian Grand Prix.

"We weren't in the strongest position at some points, but we always believed we could recover," said Raikkonen.

"Even in the hard times we stuck together," the Finn added. "I need to thank the team because we always worked hard to improve the situation."

Hamilton's attempt to make history by winning the title in his maiden season ended when he finished only seventh.

The Briton had started the race as title favourite with a four-point lead over team-mate Fernando Alonso and an advantage of seven over Raikkonen.

But Hamilton's challenge was scuppered when problems with his McLaren saw him drop to the back of the field early in the race.

And former world champion Alonso's hopes were dashed as he finished third behind Raikkonen's team-mate Felipe Massa.

Brazilian Massa, who had led for most of the first 50 laps, was overtaken by Raikkonen during the second round of pitstops who held onto the lead to secure victory and the championship..

Raikkonen was quick to praise Massa's contribution to his title success.

"It is great to win both championships," said Raikkonen, referring to Ferrari's constructors' championship success. "I thank the whole team for that, for all their hard work, and Felipe too.

"It was perfect teamwork."

Runner-up in 2003 and 2005, Raikkonen is the third Finnish Formula One world champion after Keke Rosberg (1982) and Mika Hakkinen (1998 and 1999).

Raikkonen is the first driver since the late Argentine Juan Manuel Fangio to win the championship in his first season with Ferrari.

The Finn joined Ferrari from McLaren as successor to retired seven-times champion Michael Schumacher.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was perfect teamwork. The main reason why I love supporting Ferrari. It was all drama in this final race. Will try to catch a re-run of it. I'm so happy for Ferrari, shows that you don't need spies in your team to win while the other might be full of it. I'm just so happy. Happy. Hehehe... I never liked McLaren, yup... even when Raikkonen was in it. The only way I might like it if Schumacher drives for them which of course will never happen.

Anyway, I still believe that Massa's the man of the race. Let's see how long he can pull this off and I do hope Ferrari will make it clear soon that he's just as important as Kimi. You know, we don't want him to be another Barrichello.

Happy Birthday!

I know this is very late, but happy birthday again nabila(yeah, for your bday's sake, no pann this time). I'm not going to try to write a poem since I cant do one and in the end, I won't be able to express anything except my zero knowledge in poems. Behold, my lame attempt in wishing her happy birthday.

4 things you should know about Nabila(things which I believe can be made public)

1) She and her sister are very close. They're like BFFs, like the Gilmore Girls. You might see them fight occasionally but mereka bagaikan isi dan kuku. There's not a single thing that she knows that Sarah wouldn't(maybe it's different now because of the geographical gap).

Point : She's a very caring sister which is good since we dont see much of that anymore nowadays-point to self.

2) It's hard for her to LIKE LIKE a guy. So when she does, she's going to LIKE LIKE that guy for a long time. That doesn't mean that she's seeking for anything serious right now, or something that isn't serious, it just shows that she lives for NOW. She doesn't plan this sort of thing. You dont have to be Brad Pitt, or the richest one, or the cutest one, or be the perasan-lepak-guy-with-the-i-dont-care-attitude(somehow they like to think its cool) to capture her heart. What matters is your heart(sounds cliche but don't we all?) and how you potray yourself cuz believe me, you can never fix a standard in or even have a description when it comes to her choice. Am I making sense here?

Point : If you manage to win her heart, take good care of it because you ought to know that you're one lucky fella

3) If you want to know what kind of music she likes, try getting inside her brother's head.

Point : If you wanna get a CD for her and you can't hack into her iTunes, try asking her bro what he likes.

4) She's a girl of strong principles and this is one of the reason I'm proud to call her my friend. Be it religious, political.... when she has a stance on something, she will never budge(unless there's a fatwa that declares otherwise)

Point : She's not an easy girl to break

It's 2 am and Im getting sleepy. Forgive me nabila for the lame attempt. Correct me if I'm wrong in the above facts. Cheers~

[there will be a part 2 if I see a demand for it]

ULTIMATUM

Just went back from my 1st ever debate AGM in gombak. Lets just say that it's quite different from what I expected it to be. With the makan2 session in the end. I had a long day... but I managed to fit in Bourne in between the schedule since I know this might be the last movie I'll watch in the coming weeks. The movie was awesome. I never quite liked the 'cat and mouse' movie where 3/4 of the movie is about one dude chasing another dude. Smack smack, kill kill, shoot shoot, belasah belasah. This one is different. Somehow it's interesting(and no... it's not because Matt Damon is Bourne). Somehow the movie doesn't feel draggy, even with the lots of tumbuk tumbuk part. I feel like clapping at the end of the movie, and apparently I wasn't the only one . It's been a long time since I watched a movies that makes me feel good and I'm glad this movie movie did just that. Kinda reminded me of tkc's film show. I like like this movie.

I still have Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Identity in my book shelf, got it during a sale. It's been there for more than a year, untouched. I really want to read it but somehow I still haven't. My mum said that it's one of the best 'spy2 espionage' books she ever read. She also has Supremacy and Ultimatum in the bookshelf, just waiting to be discovered by her daughter. Gotta postpone again reading fictions, I have 2 test coming up next week and finals coming up soon. I SHOULD study.

Nabila, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The Curious Incident Of A Lost Bag in The Day Time

Just because some shit happened, I shouldn't let it ruin an otherwise perfect day.

Yes, yes. I should be floating in the air now that I've finally got a dress to wear for Malam Gemilang. One problem solved, and I'm left with only my heels to think about (screw the clutch). I thought the dress was a good buy in which I should give credits to Teea for dragging me along to DFO Spencer...well,ughh,kinda (apart from the aftermath,that is) Anyhow, thank you babe! Hope you get to find your dream dress soon =)

Anyways,I've got to run so many errands tomorrow - the trip to the banks (both NAB and CBA), settle my student card, my apartment key with CS, hand in my police report, yada..yada..and of course there's the f*cking BPA essay to think about and let's just hope that bastard (who shall remain anonymous but for the record,it's not you aliya..haha) will leave me alone because if he (yes,it's a he) doesn't, then I swear I'd make his life a living hell. Trust me, you wouldn't want me to. Even I absolutely loathe myself once that inner bitch is unleashed.

Forgive me for my choices of words, but I really don't paraphrase when I'm having one of those shitty days. You know, the day where everything was SUPPOSED to be okay (if not perfect) but turned out the exact opposite instead. The day where things started out smoothly but got worse by the second. The day where ONE incident changed the whole course of your life for at least the next 24 hours or so. So yes, I feel like I deserve to be upset and I'm not going to pretend that nothing's happened or that I'm happy,because clearly,I'm not. Unless you acknowledge and admit your misundertakings and the glitches in your life, you can't get over the discontentment. And because I have the leverage to express my feelings by blogging, then why not? I guess this is what you get in exchange for some freedom of speech/expression (sorry guys)

It's just that I lost my handbag hence the foul language and the mood swing. Not just the handbag (which is of sentimental value to me), but EVERYTHING else - handphone, my wallet (cash and all my important IDs,licenses,insurance card, tram ticket,etc), my apartment key, my perfume, most of my make up, my stationaries, calculator,ATA lecture notes, my new black umbrella and well..... everything. So yes, I'm utterly devastated beyond words.

Like I said, I don't want to talk about it. Flashes of unwanted memories come barging in.

I just pray that things will turn out better for me....

Don't ask why. I mean it.

Today wasn't a good day. In fact,it was a bad one. Horrible, disastrous,catatrosphic to say the very least.

It's true that shit happens,but why oh why am I still thinking about IT? sigh.

Eid Mubarak :)

A happy belated Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin! =)

Somewhere in between

You know somewhere in between like and love?

Yes,that's it. Funny how it's been ages since I last felt this way.

The butterfly in the stomach thing... I think it takes a little getting used to.

Battle of the bulge

I've lost weight. My pants are getting looser, and Jolyn commented on my obvious collarbone (which I still think has been pretty much the same since its mere existence). I just hope Jolyn (or myself) ain't hallucinating.

OK,so maybe I haven't been eating as much as I used to,or perhaps it's just the crazy waitressing job that's putting me off the scale BUT contrary to popular belief, I personally HATE it when I look like I've lost heaps of weight. Sure, I'd like to shed off a few kilos here and there but I just don't want it to be obvious enough for people to really take notice of it. I know it sounds paradoxical but that's the truth.

I mean, I know I sometimes mention about my weight and over-exaggerate things, but I'm really really grateful for what I have,including my body. Not excited,over-zealous or even in love with it but like I said, just grateful.


You see,the so-called complicated mystery behind every girl's anatomy isn't really hard to explain.

For a start, there are several categories of us girls:

1) The perfectly-comfortable-in-my-own-skin type: This type knows what she's got and not. She perfectly knows how to play the game - she's happy with her best assets (whichever that is) and glamorously flaunts it whilst cleverly hiding places she shouldn't be showing. At the end of the day, she knows she's done the right thing.

2) The attention-deficit/mengada-ngada type: This type is AWARE and CONCIOUS that people take notice of her - whether it's her flawless skin, her gorgeous silky hair, her captivating blue eyes, her curves or just about everything. She's either got too much compliments and just fishing out for more, or lack of attention and seeking for some. Either way, she tries to point out everything "bad" about her, naturally hoping to be comforted with (surprise...surprise..) MORE compliments. Her definition of beauty depends a lot on others, and more often than not, this type lacks the sense of individualism.

3) The all-star: And then there's also the type who's got it all. Gorgeous looks+hot bod+a great fashion sense and a striking personality (or maybe not) that comes with it. At the end of the day, she knows she's hit the jackpot.

4) The health freak: This type typically has a strong personality - very focused, disciplined and straight-up. She's either been through a phase of weight issues and vows not to ever let history repeat itself OR simply concious right from the start.

5) The I-don't-give-a-kiloshit-about-my-weight: Whether she's attractive or not, she just couldn't care less. Their motto: Why should we conform to the social norm? OR I'm just too lazy to do anything about it.

6) The super-concious type: This type is slightly intriguing. They've got the looks or the body but refuse to acknowledge it because of their superlow self-esteem. Usually in denial about their good physique.


So,which one are YOU? (or at least closest to?) =)

iftar with a few uni mates

Mac and cheese never failed farah

Luckily Shera mentioned Shrek only after me and Myra finished with it

Some of us were craving for Secret Recipe so Shera suggested JJ Wangsa Maju for iftar. The usual people except for Sarah. We went there around 540pm+ after classes. Apparently, all the tables were fully reserved. To make it worse, all the tables in Shakey's, Johnny's, McD and KFC were also fully booked. Hancur luruh hati. So we went to Secret Recipe dekat Ong Tai Kim. Luckily, there's a lot of empty spaces even when its time to berbuka already. Farah and Myra tried some of those 'celebrity cookouts' which turned out pretty great while me and Shera decided to play it safe. The journey to Ong Tai Kim outside the JJ pasar area was horrifying. I kept on praying that i wont hit and bump into anyone. Lately, driving has become a scary thing for me. People are walking as if there's NO car at all infront of them.

I shall miss my regular bazaar outings with farah when ramadhan's over. Hahaha.. our special 'outings'. We had this going on since matrix. Sarah is outta the club already :)

A dear friend just called. It's good to know that I'm still capable of providing some good advices even for 'the other side'. Or so I thought.

I just checked out Facebook. There's just too much things in a page that I'm getting dizzy for a while. Will check it out later when I'm not so sleepy..

I woke up REALLY early so that today, I wouldn't miss my MLS class. What a shock when I came upon an empty class, and to know that we wouldn't be having those classes anymore. Yup, finished the syllabus and I missed the class where we were supposed to be discussing on exam questions - and now it's revision time. But seriously, now I've got 1 hour 30 minutes before another class starts. I just hope there wouldn't be any more suprises today. I'm just not in the mood today. For the 1st time this ramadhan, I didnt wake up for sahur.. my room mates dah balik kampung and the only room mate left with me is the one that needs waking up too :).

I'm wondering what happened to the spirit of raya in me. I'm not feeling it anymore. Is it due to the fact that now I got 1 less kampung? I don't want to grow up and be feeling like this. It's miserable. The only thing I'm looking forward to is spring cleaning. Couldn't wait to get rid of tikah's stuffs that's been messing in the room.

Quote of the day : "There are those who claim that one French forward pass has cost a man his career, reputation and dreams"

Some people are still in denial.

My 10-minute walk

An African-Muslim man affectionately strokes his handicapped son's head while that happy child chattered to himself.
A woman in her mid 40's takes her 2 dogs for her usual evening walk.
A couple was strolling around the neighborhood, hand in hand, in silence.
A man buys a hot chocolate for a lady and walks her back home.
One particular gentleman puts down his cup of coffee in search of a few coins. It was that beggar's lucky day.
2 girls exchanged hugs and embraced each other before one of them left.
A passer-by smiles,and says hello. Do I know him? No.

Open your eyes and you'll see that the world is actually filled with love...You'd be surprised :)

Love ridden

Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby..I wished for you

Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over,
So I can't tonight, baby

No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave...


- Fiona Apple, "Love Ridden"

It's 8.09a.m. (+2hours in Melbourne) and I'm wide awake.

Now that's something completely new to me.

Anyway, here's my plan for the day (not that it matters):

Somewhere between after writing this blog - noon : Accounting tutes
1.30pm: Meeting with Aca and the rest at Asto
3pm: Raya pics in REB (and that's the Royal Exhibition Building for those of you wondering)
6.30: Buka puasa then work at the restaurant till 10/11pm (?)
Night: Macroecons tute/studying and will probly write another post,depending on the situation.

I had to cancel my shopping trip to Bridgeroad with a friend so there goes my supposed-to-be-getting-it-by-today dress (Anita darling,I know you won't be reading this but in case you do, I'll definitely make it up to you NEXT weekend,ok?) =) Anyway, did I mention I just bought JT's concert ticket for a f*cking 150 dollars! That's like a few books in Borders, or/and a few tops in Bridgeroad, or a seafood platter plus dessert at the place I'm working at right now, or two other concert tickets! To think of all the things I'm forgoing for the concert..it BETTER be good! =P

Hrmpphh.

Are we on the same page?

To those who know me well enough, they'd know that I've always had an overwhelming interest in history, or something along the lines of politics or any of its kind. Even back in the old days in school, I've hardly written any other essay besides factual ones. It's something that I thoroughly enjoy working on, something that I find myself doing at my own spare time, a platform for me to express my thoughts because truth be told, I've never been good with expressing my feelings.

Even as a kid, I've always found it extremely hard to open up to others and it frustrates me a lot. I just don’t know how or what exactly to say, or when I do, I find myself trapped in an imbruglio of words. And yet, it frusrates me when people don't get me, the way I am and all but hey, who am I to say that? It's by my own choices and discretions that they don't. I mean, if I were less apathetic and more transparent about my feelings, then I wouldn't be facing all of that crap in the first place.

I don't know. I just find it relatively easier to talk about entities or things other than myself. The thought of telling people my deep inner secrets just makes me feel like I’m at the center of a stage, stark naked. Or the mixed feelings you get after every big exam or debate competition, just right before the results are announced. Yeah, it’s kind of like that for me. More or less.

Hmmmm I reckon it’s the middle child syndrome.

Yeah right.

Unfortunately I’m not one of those people who can share my feelings with others so everything’s bottled up to myself and I end up relying entirely everything on my own. For as long as I can remember, this is how I’ve been functioning. Sure, of course there’s second opinion and sure, I'm very open to other people's stories and I let them know what I feel or think, but that's different, you know? The way I see other people is as if the words PERSONAL CONFIDANTE are naturally plastered on each of their forehead, except mine. And for some reason, people tend to generalize you as the stereotypical heartless, nonchalant bitch who hasn’t got a single shit to worry about in her life just because everything seems to be going her way. Ok, maybe not a bitch but I do get the rest of it. Point is, my life is NOT the way some people think it is. I guess that’s the trouble you get when people can’t read you, or maybe it's the other way round?

I don't know… Maybe I should have more faith in people, maybe I should learn how to trust them more. Maybe I should start believing that it's ok to show the good, the bad and the ugly.

On the other hand, maybe it’s OK to NOT tell people. Maybe that’s just the way I am.

For once, I’d like to think so...

R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts"

In Rainbows

Radiohead's new album, In Rainbows, is coming out on 10.10.2007.

In Rainbows will be released as a digital download available only via the band's web site, Radiohead.com. There's no label or distribution partner to cut into the band's profits — but then there may not be any profits. Drop In Rainbows' 15 songs into the online checkout basket and a question mark pops up where the price would normally be. Click it, and the prompt "It's Up To You" appears. Click again and it refreshes with the words "It's Really Up To You" — and really, it is. It's the first major album whose price is determined by what individual consumers want to pay for it. And it's perfectly acceptable to pay nothing at all.

Hmmm....interesting.

For more details: http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1666973,00.html

or you can simply visit their official website: Radiohead.com

we SHOULD move on

I love IIU but I hate the fact that it's TOO exam-oriented. But hey, which local U isn't? I just finished my transactions in Islamic Law paper and I dont feel too good about it. I have another second test coming up this saturday, TORT which is supposed to be my favourite subject this semester. It's a different thing, learning for the sake of learning and learning for exams.

On a different note, selection results are out. I'm not suprised with the results especially regarding my own performance. I guess I'm not TOO bummed because I didn't really put that much effort this semester so I have no one to be blamed except for myself. I've been distant a while from debating(2 months?) and I guess it's taken a toll on me. The good news is Alhamdulillah, I'm still in the Royals Junior team with Faiz and Mah(interkulliyyah revival?) and Nabilah Lokmal.

Just killing time waiting for my tutorial to start......................

Life is all about MOVING ON. MOVING FORWARD. The past can be great but don't dwell on it. In case I've forgotten this, please remind me.

Just looking forward to be home this evening :). Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Criminal Minds, House MD and the new show that klok recommends, Gossip Girl. Oh, did I mention that I have exams. Yes, I'm a TV addict.

science or fiction?

Now Playing: "Closing Time" by Semisonic

I used to think that time has robbed me from the things that I wanted to do but couldn't. Eventually, you'll reach a stage where what's left of your spare time becomes the paradigm of luxury.

I don't know if it's a figment of my imagination,but everything seems to be revolving faster by the day.It's like..It's like I'm surfacing on a fast-motioned road, concious of the obliviousness of others. A few seconds feel more like miliseconds now, and 24 hours just seem too short a time.Sometimes I wonder if time is ever fictional - I've had some moments where I think the notion of "24 hours-a-day" is merely a make-believe quantitative measurement. Then again,that's just me fiddling with my imagination.

Come to think of it, there's only so much you can do within that time frame. I mean, if research and studies indicate that the average hours of sleep a person should be getting is between 6-8 hours, then a quarter of our daily lives are spent just sleeping (that is assuming that we sleep 6 hours and not more). If, for example,that much is emphasized on sleeping, then we've only got the remaining three quarter to spend on everything else - paying the bills, college/uni/work, the trip to the grocery store,shower, lunch and dinner, all the catching up with family and friends, meetings, workload, the journey (plus the hellish traffic jam), the telephone conversations, sex (Just to clear things up,I'm NOT horny.This point is relevant considering the fact that a lot of people emphasize the need for sex which is part and parcel of their daily activitities plus how did you think we got here in the first place?)

The things aforementioned may seem very simple and easy to complete, yet when you add up every little thing in detail, it takes out A LOT of our daily time proportion, which in a way depicts the change in the societal pattern.It amuses me,really.

No wonder people are taking showers instead of baths, and eat out instead of a proper meal with the family at home. No wonder technologically-oriented people like you and I talk on the phone more often instead of the face-to-face conversation, and no wonder people have quickies instead of the good old-fashioned sex (or at least that's what they show on TV) - it's the LACK OF TIME!!!

Yes,everything seems feasible, yet we're still left with very little time to ourselves.

So take a minute or two out of your busy life. Relax and enjoy it.

i just had to :)

I admit,it was lust at first sight,especially the shoes...I even get mini shoe orgasms just by looking at it.

O....kay.That sounded sooooooo wrong *smirks*

The end of Idol for me

What a disgrace!

Mark de Costa should NOT have been eliminated from Australian Idol at this stage.Even all the judges agreed.
This is,by far, the most incomprehensible thing that has ever taken place in the history of television.Seriously.

That's it! I hate hate hate this country now.And I'm never going to lay eyes on this season of Idol EVER AGAIN :(

(Sounds like an overstatement but true nonetheless)