Love is a losing game

For you I was the flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand

Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Listening to: "I need a miracle" - DJ Skribble

Okay, so here's the deal. About a week ago, upon returning to Melbourne, I made a pact to myself that I am really not going to shop this semester. Of course, not entirely cut on it but to wisely limit my purchases to only necessary items that don't cost too much, you know? In other words, sensible shopping. Anyway, everything seems to be going well - until I randomly decided to check out one of my favorite boutiques, To The Max.

As I first step foot, I realized that most of the stocks were cleared out (I'm guessing whilst I was away for my 3-week holiday) and to make things worse/better (depending how you look at it), the new collection's completely unappealing to me. Good on you, Nabila, I thought to myself. I decided to take a 360-degree look at each rack, trying to find at least something nice around that justifies my 500-metre-walk from my place on a rainy day.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I saw them standing nicely on the rack, almost too nicely.Yes, what stood there was a simple piece of short black-and-white-striped dress with metallic zip that runs from the top to bottom of the dress. Oh shit, that's very similar to the one I've seen in a fashion blog during the Milan Fashion Week, only it's navy blue with a different cutting, of course:



And next to it was an oversized 80's-inspired three-quarter top with a small zebra print.

What started out to be an innocent gesture developed into something undoubtedly more serious. I was having second thoughts though - the price would have to be at least $100 for the dress alone, right? I mean, most of their dresses are above $200 and up to $700!

Wrong. I couldn't believe what I saw. Ok, I knew it wasn't going to be THAT expensive since it was a simple summer dress yet $59? I smiled in rejoice!

The next battle was to try it on. Please god please let it fit me. After a slight 'technical' problem, I decided that those two were just perfect for me and how can you defy something like that?

You just don't.

So, I did what any average person in my (by the way, size-9) shoes would've done and got them - well, I truly believe that was sensible shopping - when I take the time and effort to try things on and think it through before buying it, and debating whether the price was reasonable and whether or not they're versatile enough - something I normally don't do all too well.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

After I paid and spoke to the sales girl (somehow she's always around when I buy my stuffs there), I opened my umbrella and headed outside to face the harsh winter rain. The weather sucks, I'm hungry and my flats were completely soaked in water. Amidst all that, I played the chicken dance in my head (something I habitually do when I'm happy) while placing my right hand on the umbrella and the other on the bag.

It's not so bad, after all.

It doesn't happen everyday.

Had a night out with my friends a few nights ago for Mar's birthday and I must say it was so refreshing to be around them after sooooo long :)

And yes, the food was good (I especially like the Cajun claypot and the fantastic garlic king prawn with the panini bread) and I was so thankful to have worn my blue wool winter coat cause it was cold despite being indoor.Always can count on it in the cruelest winter days :)

I wish I had more of those kind of days...

It didn't rain today

Don't trust the weather report especially when you're in Melbourne.

Mr. Weatherman, please give me a sunny week in Melbourne, thank you.

Mainstream

Not that there's anything wrong with being mainstream.Most inevitably succumb to it to a certain extent and I'm no exception.

I guess over-exposures just taint my interest, that's all.

Like Johnny Depp - especially after Pirates of The Caribbean.

Like Balmain in Paris or Longchamp errrr...practically everywhere? (especially after Kate Moss' ad)

Or coffee. Yes, Starbucks and all that.

Maybe that's why I like Benicio del toro instead of Johnny Depp and hot chocolate/tea over coffee/fraps.

Am I the only one who doesn't like Michelle Obama?

Just started blogging on my old xanga blog again: www.purpleeyedmonster.xanga.com, after I completely abandoned it for almost 2 years!

Excuse the old posts that had a lot to do with what happened years back during my college days LOL.Nice memories though!

As of now, I'll be blogging back and forth but I suppose I'll crap more about my indulgences or fashion fantasies in my xanga one just to keep a reputable image of my buddy Afifah by not turning this blog into a fashion frenzy,for example,"things Nabila want but know she will never get".LOL.I suppose blaming the economic crisis for sticking back to my old blog is NOT a better excuse so there you go =P

Oh,and I do hope everyone's still alive and kicking.

Here's to new beginnings and abandoned blogs! Cheers!

Terima Kasih

To these people, thank you for making my 3 weeks holiday (most probably the last holiday I'll have before I graduate) a blast! Just in case you're not in any of the pics, it means that I've forgotten to take a pic with you. Now it's back to a new academic year, with new books and new resolutions.

Suatu petang yang teramat panas (cubaan pertama)

Makcik 1 : Tak pernah nampak pun kamu semua makan cendol kat sini. 1st time eh?

Makcik 1 : Saya anak ada 7 orang, 4 simpan, 3 tengah belajar. Yang pertama tu baru habis kolej, yang kedua tu suami saya baru hantar pergi tusyen, yang terakhir tu baru 14 tahun. Bila tak sibuk cuti sekolah ni, semua tolong saya jaga gerai ni.

Afifah : (dalam hati) Simpan tu apa? Jangan tanya, malu nanti.

Makcik 1 lalu menuding jari ke arah Makcik 2

Makcik 1 : Ini madu saya.

Afifah : (dalam hati) Lorh, ingat tu anak yang terakhir! Nak respon apa kat Makcik 1 ni?

Makcik 2 buat tak tahu lalu sambung makan cendol, gaya junior time orientation week - tunduk je.

Afifah rasa ganjal dengan situasi Makcik 1 terlalu peramah dan 'vibe' yang sangat happening antara Makcik 1 dan Makcik 2 lalu makan cepat-cepat dan ikut Abah dan Azfar naik kereta balik rumah. Cepat sangat sampai Abah terlupa nak bayar. Tapi Abah cover cakap cendol sedap sangat sebab tu sampai semua lupa ingatkan dia suruh bayar! Nampaknya, besok kena pergi balik gerai cendol tu bayar RM 4. 50 dekat Makcik 1. Mesti dia dah kutuk-kutuk orang tak bayar, penat je dia kerja ; nampak je muka baik tapi perangai satu keluarga tak senonoh.

Pengajarannya :

1. Cendol tepi jalan memang sedap, lebih-lebih lagi bila tengah panas. Kalah Pak Li di Seksyen 7

2. Afifah perlu memperbaiki skil sosialnya, nanti senang dapat diskaun dan buat kawan

3. Sifat peramah yang didemonstrasikan oleh Makcik 1 patut menjadi contoh kepada semua Rakyat Malaysia!

4. Bila makan, jangan lupa bayar!

MENU OF THE DAY

Breakfast: scrambled eggs with goat cheese and apple juice
Lunch: a plate full of rice with lamb curry, fish ball and mixed vege
Tea: Chocolates
Dinner: Rice with beef rendang and mixed vege
Supper: FLEMINGTON KEBAB (lamb kebab with mustard and garlic sauce) *yums*

I've been eating nonstop.This is what exams do to you.

Hoping it's the dog's day.

For a person who has gone through exam stress for at least 7 years repeatedly (excluding primary school, of course), what's another exam, right?

Wrong.

Well, one would think that it gets better with time, but really, it doesn't.

Apart from the typical pre-exam habits like binge eating on comfort food and being sleep-deprived, and the occasional pre-exam zits and hideous eye bags that could probably scare little kids away - it's not exactly the same.

Not when your future job interviews (which is pretty much your future.period.) depend on this upcoming exam, to a large extent. And especially not when you have to compete with not only your fellow colleagues, but with possibly thousands of other locals here who all probably have more or less the same results on job applications.

You see, it's no longer about cruising through your uni life, or letting yourself get away with not scoring in your exams. This time, it's game on. And you sure as hell hope that at this rate, you're playing the cards right.

After all, you don't get lucky every day.

Sexy boys

Listening to: 'Sexy Boy' by Air









Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Où sont tes héros aux corps d'athlètes
Où sont tes idoles mal rasées, bien habillées

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Dans leurs yeux des dollars
Dans leurs sourires des diamants
Moi aussi un jour je serai beau comme un Dieu

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Apollon deux mille zéro défaut vingt et un ans
C'est l'homme ideal charme au masculin

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Mon temps

The biggest loser (American version) is on air again! Yipee dee doo daa :)

Hopefully that will help boost my gym spirit and kick it up a notch.What happened to *ehem* getting a hot bod by summer,hmmm Nabila?

I missed those moments when I worked my ass off with the cardio machines and then feel great and healthy after.A lot of the contestants hate Gillian but I'd love to have her as my trainer.There's nothing like having a number one bitch screaming at you whilst having her watch you sweat your ass off! - if anything,it'll only motivate me more, especially when you strive to shed the kilos off and hope to have a body like hers.It's as close as you can get to materializing your dream.

Anyway,I wonder if any of the tv producers would consider doing a show on,instead of losing weight and all that, about dealing with the procrastinator in you? I swear I'd be fit to join that!But I guess I'm not as bad as I used to be, credits for that.And it wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for my everyday organizer.Seriously,who knew planning your day could be so much fun? ;) Sheesh, I'm starting to sound all goody-goody.

While I'm at it, reminds me that I've got heaps to do for tomorrow:

1) Attend investment consultation
2) Doctor's appointment @ 3pm
3) French revision for test the next day
4) Go to the bank

And yes,you guessed right...gym! That is,if I get to squeeze it in between all that.

Adios people.

Long live organizers!

A short vent

My guilty conscience is ringing a bell in my head, telling me that blogging at this time (1.30am Melbourne time) is a no-no, especially when you have exams in about 2 weeks and have plenty to study still.

Clearly, it's not working.

Anyway,I just feel like venting - about how I wished I had focus more in investment lectures or went for the tutes.Urghh.Now I have to multiply my effort by a hundred times.I'm revising this topic on bond pricing and I find yield to maturity and zero rates quite confusing especially when you have 80 slides in ONE lecture =/ God help me please.

Other than that,I am perfectly aware of how unsettled my life is right now.I should start simplifying things and get more organized.And it should start with doing the laundry (cause I'm slowly running out of clothes to wear and I hate rotating my clothes all too often) and grocery shopping since I've got zilch food in my fridge, which causes frustration and unnecessary stress like now by yours truly.

And you thought I would've learned my lesson by now....

Goodbye autumn!

The wind is sweeping the autumn leaves away, dropping hints that winter is just another few 15'C-days away.

And I am, admittedly, one of those happy people. Yes, it's my favorite time of the year in Melbourne.

I appreciate the time where people would ditch their Havaianas in favor of their winter boots, leather shoes or newly-bought sneakers. I love to see the occasional splashes of bright colors amongst the mass of black,grey and beige winter coats, and how smartly dressed people are in winter - the knits, the skinny jeans, the woolen tights and leggings, the leather jacket (although this is getting too overrated, mind you), the scarves and hats, cardigans and so forth.I smile at the idea of putting pieces together. I love all that.

And for now, I am IN LOVE with this look:



Something utterly right about the way she puts the pieces together: the pants are nicely understated yet so appropriate for winter. And the shoes and the oversized-scarf paired with the baggy jacket just make me want to beg her to sell those pieces to me on e-Bay! Simple, comfortable yet so classy. I love it.

All I need is a cup of hot chocolate, a book and a comfortable blanket with my socks and favorite pjs on. Nothing beats that.

Now I have a reason not to go out : )

C'est la vie!

I've been meaning to write but haven't had that much chance with assignments that never cease.

And to think that I've exams in less than a month is just plain scary. I haven't had the chance to actually start studying cause my life is really all about assignments atm and the amount of workload I have is too overwhelming sometimes.

Buy hey, it's my final year...no one said it was easy so i suppose I just have to suck it all in =/

I'm envious of my friends who have finished their exams since my head is kinda elsewhere amidst all the bullcrap workload that I have...that's cause I truly miss home. (Hah! - there, I've said and meant it!) I can't wait to go back this July (even though it's for less than 2 weeks) - I feel like there's a lot to look forward to this time. I can't wait to see my uncle who's recovering from chemo right now, to hang out with my cousins who are back for their summer break from the UK, to spend time with my darling sister (who's gonna start college soon!!!), the road trip, the family gatherings, to shop in Zara with my mom and sister (yes people, they don't have Zara here in Australia), to get my new kittens, eat all my favorite food and just be around all the things I missed having around me.

t's as if you picture yourself close to the finishing line and so you might as well just give it your all. I guess it makes everything easier just thinking of it. Makes missing Daniel who's in freaking Bangkok bearable. Makes the thoughts of exam acceptable, you know?

On a lighter note, I'm very very tempted to watch Gomorrah (it's a mafia movie directed by SCORSESE baby!) which will be out here tomorrow. It's a blessing in disguise that I'm flat broke - at least I won't be spending money on movies. But seriously, I just wanna get it out of my system, you know? Well, I'll probably end up watching it as soon as I'm financially sound LOL.

Anyway, I'm gonna get back to studying french, have a 20% oral test tomorrow. Wish me luck!

A bientot, tout le monde!

Finally

I never had a superhero. The way a kid look up to Captain America or Superman. I wish I felt that way about Spiderman, but I never did. Even if I did, the feeling doesn't last long enough. Once X-Men is shown on TV, I kept moving between Gambit and Cyclops. I never idolized Wonder Women or any female superheroes for that matter, I still don't understand how you can go on fighting crime with wearing that teeny - bit of cloth on your body without getting you sliced up by the bad guys. That's why I like Jubilee and even Storm (notice the liking for X-Men characters?). I know I respect Billy the Blue Ranger as not only he's a Power Ranger, but he's smart! Did I mention I also adore Sailor Mercury from Sailormoon and wish that they would put more emphasize on her character but then again, I don't want to be anyone of them.

I never had idols or role models except the Prophet p.b.u.h, and I believe that history and what we can see up till now , there's no such leader that is wise as him, who can influence the world like him and yet still manage to maintain the respect of both his followers, enemies and those who knew him.

Yet I never had a someone that I look up to, that I want to be like that is still living! It all changed when I was in high school. I can't remember the exact time - it maybe when I was in f3 or even f5. All I can safely say here is that there was this dude that started from scratch, continues to hold on to his passion - despite what people say, and the result is now res ipsa loquitor. Many people come and go but there's no one that fascinates me more than him. It feels exciting just by reading on how he progresses through his career. It maybe due to the kind of passion that I have in life and how it's quite the same with what he's doing, or he's just one of those few people that has the power of inspiring others to achieve greatness.

I believe that he's the closest thing to Superman for me now - even when he never actually rescues anyone. And I couldn't be more happy to have a chat with him today, finally. Yes people... I feel like a kid who just met Superman or his favourite hero for the 1st time and I very much like this feeling, this feeling of being inspired.

I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything else in the world! Not even an iPhone.

Ain't no sunshine... when there's the final exams

Random thoughts and happenings (following Nabila's precedence)

1. Kris Allen's version of Ain't No Sunshine is very haunting. It carried me throughout the whole 3 hours and 5 minutes (minus the 10 minutes for being late, TERLUPA statute! I couldn't be more cacat than this). He's going to be the next Jason Mraz and if he can have original songs as haunting as that, it's def. a CD worth buying.

2. More of Idol. Yes, I'm a huge fan of this show, it's another one of those guilty pleasures I have.. people just can't get enough of seeing nobody turning into a somebody. I'm so excited that David Archuleta is coming here and thanks to Zaimah (for the digi contest she entered), I'll be there to hear him live dengan suara so-matured-for-his-age-nye LIVE! [we don't have Coldplay, Duffy, Alicia Keys or John Mayer here so this kid will do :) ]

3. The opposition won both 'Bukit's. Batang Ai is still with BN. It's not a shocker, the opposition has always find it hard to penetrate Sabah and Sarawak. What is important is that it shows the fact that Nizar's back and I think this is only solidifying the fact that Perak needs an election, fast!

4. I have yet to finish the term-limit on US presidency paper that Fareez wants and somehow, having a tough paper on Thursday is not helping.

5. I'm just a little too not over you - practising the lines for Archie's song. Haha. We even need a session to interpret the definition of the title.

6. FACEBOOK STALKING ain't cool. It's a term now, according to urbandictionary.com.

7. Magistrates are not allowed to have a blog, or even Facebook profiles. I'm not so sure whether this applies to the whole judiciary or not. Bummer.

8. The Maxis iPhone advertisement is driving everyone crazy. "You are a student, so you have to spend like one" but that's a little bit complicated when you get older. As you tend to be more picky in the food you eat, it's the same thing as cravings for gadget. I know I'm not making sense but since when do I make sense?

9. Accutane (yes, I'm on drugs just not the kind of drugs you wish for) is doing me wonders after a terrible 2 months walking around while Temoh asked whether I have bad sunburn on my face but I think I'm more depressed than usual, my mood is like a yo-yo and I eat more than what I should. Yes, I do blame the drug and not myself.

10. I'm not choosy it's just that I haven't found the right person. You cannot gamble on a relationship and treat it like another selipar toilet jepun. You have to treat it like a pair of Clarks shoes, the price is high and tha's why you need to treat it good, and it treats you good in return. Eventhough it's all worned out, you still love it because it's been there for you through the good and bad times. If it causes you problem, you try to find your way around it. You just don't throw it out. Relationship = Commitment. If you can't commit, don't be in one. I know I'm bad with analogies :).

11. HELP!

A blogger's block

I find it hard to focus on writing anything remotely interesting in these past few months mostly because so many things that have been going on in my life are away from home that it's pointless to share the nitty gritty details on this blog.

I wish I was more involved with more things or people back home.

I don't wanna write for the sake of writing, you know?

Maybe I should take a break and explore many places and do stuffs I've been wanting to do but never really did. And then hopefully when I get through all that, I'll be more inspired to write (not just on this blog, mind you)

Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

I'm back but not completely back

Discovered Paulo Coelho's blog from a friend, and I think it's so cool that he has one. Putting aside those snips of him singing (another passion of him I guess), I guess his blog will be one of those oasis for me after a stupid day and all you want at the end of the day is to make sense of it. Sesungguhnya di kala kesibukan ini, kita mudah terlupa untuk membaca - dan semakin lama menjadi semakin jahil.

"Then I thought of the dead man in his pajamas, of solitude so utter and abysmal that for twenty years nobody in this whole wide world had realized that he had simply disappeared without leaving a trace. And my conclusion is that worse than feeling hunger and thirst, worse than being jobless, suffering for love, in despair over some defeat – worse than all this is to feel that nobody, absolutely nobody in this world, cares for us."

A generous week

A few reasons why I'm joyfully happy:

1) My sister got straight 10A's for her SPM! And she deserves every bit of it =D
2) I'm going to Sydney for my Easter break! Hope to buy the plane ticket tomorrow.
3) I've just decorated my room and had a spring cleaning in my lounge area. My apartment now looks twice the original size.
4) I managed to do my Corporate Finance tute and had a constructive discussion with Apok on leasing issues. I am, however, still unsure of the NPV calculations for the lessor/lessee example in Sean's lecture notes. I'm pretty sure there's a slight error.
5) I am still in the midst of organizing my housewarming with Aida - it's meant to be super glamorous. I'm so excited. We'll see how it goes.
6) My cousin K.Jehan just got married. To think that we used to play together when we were kids and now she's married? I'm so happy for her.
7) I love my french class - love the tutor/lecturer, my classmates and especially the language. Got a test this Thurs!
8) Bought a new mavi jeans (my fav) and a royal blue wool trench coat for winter, both from To the Max. Loooo-ve it!