I can think of 100 reasons why I'm such a bad person.
Everyday, I have to live with that guilt.
It breaks my heart to think that I'm not being honest at all. And to think that honesty should come first, I feel worse. I feel like I'm digging my own grave and that all it takes is a little shove for me to fall in that hellhole I've created.
Why can't I reciprocate the same way? I'm just too selfish, and I think only for no one but myself. I don't mean to play around with his feelings, but that's how things are at the moment. I have a tendency to think that the ball is always at my court even though I know it isn't. And even if it is, it won't take long before the ball shifts to the opposite end.
On one hand, you try to do the right thing by ending it cause you know you're gonna save the frustration of prolonging the problem. On the other hand, you tell yourself the timing isn't right, but who am I kidding?
The timing is almost never wrong but I never seem to make it right.
I end up hurting not just him, but myself and also others too,and the problem seems to get bigger and bigger by the day. It's so much complicated, and harder than I think it is.
Some people say love is knowing when to let go,so I guess I don't love you enough to let you go. And the worst part is, I wish it stays this way forever. . .