Saturday, May 10, 2008

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned

I can think of 100 reasons why I'm such a bad person.

Everyday, I have to live with that guilt.

It breaks my heart to think that I'm not being honest at all. And to think that honesty should come first, I feel worse. I feel like I'm digging my own grave and that all it takes is a little shove for me to fall in that hellhole I've created.

Why can't I reciprocate the same way? I'm just too selfish, and I think only for no one but myself. I don't mean to play around with his feelings, but that's how things are at the moment. I have a tendency to think that the ball is always at my court even though I know it isn't. And even if it is, it won't take long before the ball shifts to the opposite end.

On one hand, you try to do the right thing by ending it cause you know you're gonna save the frustration of prolonging the problem. On the other hand, you tell yourself the timing isn't right, but who am I kidding?

The timing is almost never wrong but I never seem to make it right.

I end up hurting not just him, but myself and also others too,and the problem seems to get bigger and bigger by the day. It's so much complicated, and harder than I think it is.

Some people say love is knowing when to let go,so I guess I don't love you enough to let you go. And the worst part is, I wish it stays this way forever. . .

1 comment:

enchantress said...

Awww.....PANdit.

Read this, got it via email from a good friend, i think it's so true:
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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say ;or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh .They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson,love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.Thank you for being a part of my life,whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

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Can this be applied to your current circumstance? Cos your post disheartens me, and prepares me for the future too.

Babe, if love is enough, you'll both get through this. Have hope, that it will.