The Sweet Escape

Meaningless meanings

2010-05-29T04:14:00.003+08:00

Hello world hope you're listening,

Forgive me if I'm young or speaking out of turn,

But there's someone I've been missing,

And I think they could be the better half of me.

Mercedes, Petronas & ....... Michael Schumacher

2009-12-23T20:13:00.009+08:00

The past few days bulletin from the world of F1 has been nothing but surprising for me, a fan. First, is the news that Petronas will become the title sponsor for Mercedes. The automatic reaction you'll get from any Malaysian would be, 'Aiyaa... Petronas sponsor Mercedes? Bukan kita dah ada Lotus F1 ke? Kenapa tak pergi situ je? Membazir duit je'. I was forming the same opinion initially, though team 1Malaysia F1 will be starting next year, it has been said that Tony Fernandes is still looking for major sponsors and since Petronas's contract with BMW Sauber ended at the end of this year's season, Lotus F1 seems to be the most ideal place to go next.

What we fail to see amidst all this hype of our country actually owning an F1 team (statements : numerous time Najib insisted that it is an investment by Lotus/Proton instead. truth : funding still comes from the Malaysian taxpayers), is that Petronas is still a corporation regardless of it being a state owned corporation. Thus with it comes the expectation of being sponsors for the Lotus F1. A reasonable expectation I thought.

Then... comes along Michael Schumacher. My favourite sportsmen, the most perfect guy that existed in my mind from the age of 7 till 12. I worshipped him once, and don't worry I have come to my senses now. My support for teams has always been moving with him. If he's with Renault, I'll support Renault. If he's with Ferrari, my never-ending loyalty with Ferrari that seems to end now marked by his departure is the reason why I got bullied everyday in sekolah agama by Fikril Afiq.

When Schumi signed with Mercedes, everything seems to make better sense. Reality check; Petronas maybe one of the companies in Fortune 500 and every Malaysian citizen has heard of it but in Europe all you can hear is crickets unless you're one of the technical crews for any F1 team. They need to penetrate the world's market and with the automative industry, branding is everything. For Petronas to be associated with Mercedes and 7 time world champion Michael Schumacher is a huge jump from the unknowns of BMW Sauber and definitely, an upper hand in terms of branding compared to Malaysia owned Lotus F1.

Of course the only way that this could go bad for Petronas is if Lotus were to score more points than Mercedes, which is very much unlikely. Regardless of that, the association with those 2 big names will definitely be in the best interest of Petronas, especially in promoting it's lubricant. Yes people, LUBRICANTS.

I shall be very optimistic now, and hope for only great things to come for Michael Schumacher and the Lotus F1 team. I hope that Petronas will organize contests that allows its participants to meet Michael Schumacher and with that, I wish for a little bit of luck (prediction : changing petrol usage from Shell to Petronas must be one of the criteria for the contest. Haha) .I hope that my final examinations will not clash with the date of the race so that for the first time in my whole life, I can actually watch my favourite game.

And please, cut Petronas some slack. It's nothing personal, it's just business.

Dancing with myself

2009-12-20T22:24:00.003+08:00

In life we expect a lot of things from others and expect others to have a certain expectation on ourselves. That's how most of us lead our life now, from the moment we wake up till the moment we reach the same bed to sleep. In between all those expectations and dreams, we tend to forget about what we need in life and tend to prioritize on things that we want, which may have arisen from trying to fulfill all the expectations that people have on us and us trying to be the person that the expectations shapes us to be.

Amidst all these chaos, we have forgotten about ourselves - About Me. What kind of expectations have we put upon ourselves and have we realised it? Since when does other's expectations of us seems greater than that of our own? Does anybody remember the person that they want to be in the future when they were six or seven? Are you really being true to yourself at the end of the day or worse, when you look at the mirror you don't see yourself anymore.

I know what I want all this while, but am desperately wanting all that I need now to be a better me. I need to feel that urgency and purpose that I never felt before.

It's raining, it's pouring

2009-11-18T16:48:00.001+08:00

If your plane were to fall from the sky, who would you call for your last goodbye?

Meet my secret crush

2009-10-09T21:49:00.002+08:00

I've had an obsession with Serge for awhile now.

I love how utterly cool and flamboyant he appears to be.

He was one of France's infamous music producers who was known for directing musical plays and composing many songs decades ago. Of course, he was most famous for dating Jane Birkin (with whom they had a daughter together)

It's so hard to describe it but I just have a major major boy crush on him =P

Meet my guy:

Impulsive spending

2009-10-04T16:39:00.004+08:00

I came to The Waterfront, Desa Park City which is only a 3 minute drive away from my place for only one reason - to get ice for the open house. Instead, I saw this huge banner saying that there is a 'once-in-a-month-MPH-sale' in The Waterfront and one event leads to the other - I ended up buying Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. I usually wait for hardcovers to turn into paperbacks (exception : the Harry Potter series) but there was a 10% discount so I just couldn't resist.

So now I'm RM 89 poorer, RM 89 less from the fund I created for a pair of spectacles that I wanted. Just hope that the book will be all worth it, according to my standards. I'm ignoring all the mixed reviews that the book has just now and am gonna indulge myself into it next weekend =)

2009-09-19T23:40:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,

I've officially moved to my old blog: www.xanga.com/purpleeyedmonster

Much love!

EID MUBARRAK!

2009-09-19T22:17:00.004+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA,EID MUBARRAK AND MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN TO ALL MUSLIMS AROUND THE WORLD!

IT HAS BEEN A GENEROUS YEAR AND I'M GRATEFUL TO ALLAH FOR EVERYTHING THAT HE HAS BESTOWED UPON US.

MAY EVERYONE BE REMINDED OF THE GREATNESS OF THE ALMIGHTY.

Have an awesome time with your family, friends and loved ones and please don't forget those in need =)

PS: I'm so emotional right now - I miss everyone back home. Raya abroad is just so sad without all my loved ones but hopefully it will still be a joyful one.

Love,
Nabila.

Must have gotten the flu from here

2009-09-16T00:13:00.007+08:00

Wait till Friday, the price will go down as RM5!

Have you ever met anyone with the same corak of baju kurung as your's?

I miss the days when Mama buys kain and then we go to the tailor

Close proximity without mask. Hazardous!

Lucky I got out of there in time

First day of the semester break aka Raya holidays. Thanks Myra for being the chauffeur for 2 consecutive years! To my friends abroad, it's not that long till you get to prepare for Raya at home ;)

Tan Hao Ming

2009-08-31T14:51:00.003+08:00

My favourite Yasmin Ahmad Merdeka tv- ad. Everyone has different ways of showing their love and appreciation towards tanahair, Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan!

I hate normality but sometimes, we all need it.

2009-08-29T21:53:00.006+08:00

I like this song.Maybe because it reminds me of an incident that happened a few months ago - a bit personal to write about it here but let's just say that I'm thankful we didn't give up on us.For all it's worth, at least we know we've tried. Enjoy the song:

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby you and I

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

Monday blue?

2009-08-24T19:24:00.003+08:00

It's just one of those days where no matter what you try to do,it doesn't seem to get any better.

Why can't I seem to find the silver lining in the cloud of darkness?

I do hope, however, that when I wake up tomorrow,everything will go back to normal.

Good night,everyone.

Explosions in the sky

2009-08-14T23:47:00.012+08:00

As most of you know, I'm quite a fan of 'inspirational movies' and somehow good inspirational movies from the US is always based upon football. You have Remember The Titans as the benchmark and then you have Friday Night Lights the movie which was then made into a series which is not doing so good now (but the quality of the series is just as good and I don't see why its lacking behind). Anyway, the movie introduced me to EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY - a post-rock band from Texas.

They don't need words to express things. They just play it. From the moment I heard the 'friday night lights song' over and above The Coach giving out his speech during half time I was hooked(do you realise that sometimes coaches in movies are the best speakers ;p). After listening to some of their songs, I'm totally in love. Their songs are like novels, you can feel like a story is being told and better - you're the narrator. You get to choose how and what you want the song to be like since it's just good music all the way. I would recommend these albums as a must listen to, especially when you're studying and you need music to keep you alive yet not to the extend of distracting you. My favourite song so far would be 'Your Hand in Mine' . My vocab sucks, so I can't really explain to you what the music sounds like but can only explain what it meant to me. Cheers!

Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Live Forever

The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place

Things always happen when you least expect it

2009-08-13T01:37:00.002+08:00

I wish I could turn back time to last Saturday evening. I wish I could have been given the chance to explain myself when I said those words to you; I didn’t mean it. I never knew that you took it seriously. If you know me well, it was just me being me. The fact that I said those words to you just means that I like you and maybe that’s just my way of showing some sign of acceptance(and of course.. not in a like like way). I wish I could turn back time just to say how I envy you for being so smart and resourceful – that you can get anything you want in life, your future (Azwan just got 4As in his A- Levels). For being one of the kindest person I’ve met to my sister and to a certain extend – my family. You may not know this but I admire you Azwan.

But what I want more than anything right now is that you, Azwan Ariff be able to recover from your accident and the grueling surgery that you just had. I sincerely hope that you’ll recover Azwan and I hope that everyone who reads this post will also pray for Azwan, my friend.

Love is a losing game

2009-08-06T00:00:00.001+08:00

For you I was the flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand

Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

2009-08-05T23:07:00.002+08:00

Listening to: "I need a miracle" - DJ Skribble

Okay, so here's the deal. About a week ago, upon returning to Melbourne, I made a pact to myself that I am really not going to shop this semester. Of course, not entirely cut on it but to wisely limit my purchases to only necessary items that don't cost too much, you know? In other words, sensible shopping. Anyway, everything seems to be going well - until I randomly decided to check out one of my favorite boutiques, To The Max.

As I first step foot, I realized that most of the stocks were cleared out (I'm guessing whilst I was away for my 3-week holiday) and to make things worse/better (depending how you look at it), the new collection's completely unappealing to me. Good on you, Nabila, I thought to myself. I decided to take a 360-degree look at each rack, trying to find at least something nice around that justifies my 500-metre-walk from my place on a rainy day.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I saw them standing nicely on the rack, almost too nicely.Yes, what stood there was a simple piece of short black-and-white-striped dress with metallic zip that runs from the top to bottom of the dress. Oh shit, that's very similar to the one I've seen in a fashion blog during the Milan Fashion Week, only it's navy blue with a different cutting, of course:

And next to it was an oversized 80's-inspired three-quarter top with a small zebra print.

What started out to be an innocent gesture developed into something undoubtedly more serious. I was having second thoughts though - the price would have to be at least $100 for the dress alone, right? I mean, most of their dresses are above $200 and up to $700!

Wrong. I couldn't believe what I saw. Ok, I knew it wasn't going to be THAT expensive since it was a simple summer dress yet $59? I smiled in rejoice!

The next battle was to try it on. Please god please let it fit me. After a slight 'technical' problem, I decided that those two were just perfect for me and how can you defy something like that?

You just don't.

So, I did what any average person in my (by the way, size-9) shoes would've done and got them - well, I truly believe that was sensible shopping - when I take the time and effort to try things on and think it through before buying it, and debating whether the price was reasonable and whether or not they're versatile enough - something I normally don't do all too well.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

After I paid and spoke to the sales girl (somehow she's always around when I buy my stuffs there), I opened my umbrella and headed outside to face the harsh winter rain. The weather sucks, I'm hungry and my flats were completely soaked in water. Amidst all that, I played the chicken dance in my head (something I habitually do when I'm happy) while placing my right hand on the umbrella and the other on the bag.

It's not so bad, after all.

It doesn't happen everyday.

2009-08-04T22:56:00.004+08:00

Had a night out with my friends a few nights ago for Mar's birthday and I must say it was so refreshing to be around them after sooooo long :)

And yes, the food was good (I especially like the Cajun claypot and the fantastic garlic king prawn with the panini bread) and I was so thankful to have worn my blue wool winter coat cause it was cold despite being indoor.Always can count on it in the cruelest winter days :)

I wish I had more of those kind of days...

It didn't rain today

2009-08-03T21:21:00.001+08:00

Don't trust the weather report especially when you're in Melbourne.

Mr. Weatherman, please give me a sunny week in Melbourne, thank you.

Mainstream

2009-07-29T00:56:00.004+08:00

Not that there's anything wrong with being mainstream.Most inevitably succumb to it to a certain extent and I'm no exception.

I guess over-exposures just taint my interest, that's all.

Like Johnny Depp - especially after Pirates of The Caribbean.

Like Balmain in Paris or Longchamp errrr...practically everywhere? (especially after Kate Moss' ad)

Or coffee. Yes, Starbucks and all that.

Maybe that's why I like Benicio del toro instead of Johnny Depp and hot chocolate/tea over coffee/fraps.

Am I the only one who doesn't like Michelle Obama?

2009-07-24T01:40:00.004+08:00

Just started blogging on my old xanga blog again: www.purpleeyedmonster.xanga.com, after I completely abandoned it for almost 2 years!

Excuse the old posts that had a lot to do with what happened years back during my college days LOL.Nice memories though!

As of now, I'll be blogging back and forth but I suppose I'll crap more about my indulgences or fashion fantasies in my xanga one just to keep a reputable image of my buddy Afifah by not turning this blog into a fashion frenzy,for example,"things Nabila want but know she will never get".LOL.I suppose blaming the economic crisis for sticking back to my old blog is NOT a better excuse so there you go =P

Oh,and I do hope everyone's still alive and kicking.

Here's to new beginnings and abandoned blogs! Cheers!

Terima Kasih

2009-07-15T14:29:00.016+08:00

To these people, thank you for making my 3 weeks holiday (most probably the last holiday I'll have before I graduate) a blast! Just in case you're not in any of the pics, it means that I've forgotten to take a pic with you. Now it's back to a new academic year, with new books and new resolutions.

Suatu petang yang teramat panas (cubaan pertama)

2009-06-09T01:05:00.006+08:00

Makcik 1 : Tak pernah nampak pun kamu semua makan cendol kat sini. 1st time eh?

Makcik 1 : Saya anak ada 7 orang, 4 simpan, 3 tengah belajar. Yang pertama tu baru habis kolej, yang kedua tu suami saya baru hantar pergi tusyen, yang terakhir tu baru 14 tahun. Bila tak sibuk cuti sekolah ni, semua tolong saya jaga gerai ni.

Afifah : (dalam hati) Simpan tu apa? Jangan tanya, malu nanti.

Makcik 1 lalu menuding jari ke arah Makcik 2

Makcik 1 : Ini madu saya.

Afifah : (dalam hati) Lorh, ingat tu anak yang terakhir! Nak respon apa kat Makcik 1 ni?

Makcik 2 buat tak tahu lalu sambung makan cendol, gaya junior time orientation week - tunduk je.

Afifah rasa ganjal dengan situasi Makcik 1 terlalu peramah dan 'vibe' yang sangat happening antara Makcik 1 dan Makcik 2 lalu makan cepat-cepat dan ikut Abah dan Azfar naik kereta balik rumah. Cepat sangat sampai Abah terlupa nak bayar. Tapi Abah cover cakap cendol sedap sangat sebab tu sampai semua lupa ingatkan dia suruh bayar! Nampaknya, besok kena pergi balik gerai cendol tu bayar RM 4. 50 dekat Makcik 1. Mesti dia dah kutuk-kutuk orang tak bayar, penat je dia kerja ; nampak je muka baik tapi perangai satu keluarga tak senonoh.

Pengajarannya :

1. Cendol tepi jalan memang sedap, lebih-lebih lagi bila tengah panas. Kalah Pak Li di Seksyen 7

2. Afifah perlu memperbaiki skil sosialnya, nanti senang dapat diskaun dan buat kawan

3. Sifat peramah yang didemonstrasikan oleh Makcik 1 patut menjadi contoh kepada semua Rakyat Malaysia!

4. Bila makan, jangan lupa bayar!

MENU OF THE DAY

2009-06-02T18:51:00.002+08:00

Breakfast: scrambled eggs with goat cheese and apple juice
Lunch: a plate full of rice with lamb curry, fish ball and mixed vege
Tea: Chocolates
Dinner: Rice with beef rendang and mixed vege
Supper: FLEMINGTON KEBAB (lamb kebab with mustard and garlic sauce) *yums*

I've been eating nonstop.This is what exams do to you.

Hoping it's the dog's day.

2009-05-29T23:39:00.003+08:00

For a person who has gone through exam stress for at least 7 years repeatedly (excluding primary school, of course), what's another exam, right?

Wrong.

Well, one would think that it gets better with time, but really, it doesn't.

Apart from the typical pre-exam habits like binge eating on comfort food and being sleep-deprived, and the occasional pre-exam zits and hideous eye bags that could probably scare little kids away - it's not exactly the same.

Not when your future job interviews (which is pretty much your future.period.) depend on this upcoming exam, to a large extent. And especially not when you have to compete with not only your fellow colleagues, but with possibly thousands of other locals here who all probably have more or less the same results on job applications.

You see, it's no longer about cruising through your uni life, or letting yourself get away with not scoring in your exams. This time, it's game on. And you sure as hell hope that at this rate, you're playing the cards right.

After all, you don't get lucky every day.

Sexy boys

2009-05-25T19:27:00.005+08:00

Listening to: 'Sexy Boy' by Air

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Où sont tes héros aux corps d'athlètes
Où sont tes idoles mal rasées, bien habillées

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Dans leurs yeux des dollars
Dans leurs sourires des diamants
Moi aussi un jour je serai beau comme un Dieu

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Apollon deux mille zéro défaut vingt et un ans
C'est l'homme ideal charme au masculin

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Mon temps

2009-05-24T22:35:00.006+08:00

The biggest loser (American version) is on air again! Yipee dee doo daa :)

Hopefully that will help boost my gym spirit and kick it up a notch.What happened to *ehem* getting a hot bod by summer,hmmm Nabila?

I missed those moments when I worked my ass off with the cardio machines and then feel great and healthy after.A lot of the contestants hate Gillian but I'd love to have her as my trainer.There's nothing like having a number one bitch screaming at you whilst having her watch you sweat your ass off! - if anything,it'll only motivate me more, especially when you strive to shed the kilos off and hope to have a body like hers.It's as close as you can get to materializing your dream.

Anyway,I wonder if any of the tv producers would consider doing a show on,instead of losing weight and all that, about dealing with the procrastinator in you? I swear I'd be fit to join that!But I guess I'm not as bad as I used to be, credits for that.And it wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for my everyday organizer.Seriously,who knew planning your day could be so much fun? ;) Sheesh, I'm starting to sound all goody-goody.

While I'm at it, reminds me that I've got heaps to do for tomorrow:

1) Attend investment consultation
2) Doctor's appointment @ 3pm
3) French revision for test the next day
4) Go to the bank

And yes,you guessed right...gym! That is,if I get to squeeze it in between all that.

Adios people.

Long live organizers!

A short vent

2009-05-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

My guilty conscience is ringing a bell in my head, telling me that blogging at this time (1.30am Melbourne time) is a no-no, especially when you have exams in about 2 weeks and have plenty to study still.

Clearly, it's not working.

Anyway,I just feel like venting - about how I wished I had focus more in investment lectures or went for the tutes.Urghh.Now I have to multiply my effort by a hundred times.I'm revising this topic on bond pricing and I find yield to maturity and zero rates quite confusing especially when you have 80 slides in ONE lecture =/ God help me please.

Other than that,I am perfectly aware of how unsettled my life is right now.I should start simplifying things and get more organized.And it should start with doing the laundry (cause I'm slowly running out of clothes to wear and I hate rotating my clothes all too often) and grocery shopping since I've got zilch food in my fridge, which causes frustration and unnecessary stress like now by yours truly.

And you thought I would've learned my lesson by now....

Goodbye autumn!

2009-05-18T21:09:00.004+08:00

The wind is sweeping the autumn leaves away, dropping hints that winter is just another few 15'C-days away.

And I am, admittedly, one of those happy people. Yes, it's my favorite time of the year in Melbourne.

I appreciate the time where people would ditch their Havaianas in favor of their winter boots, leather shoes or newly-bought sneakers. I love to see the occasional splashes of bright colors amongst the mass of black,grey and beige winter coats, and how smartly dressed people are in winter - the knits, the skinny jeans, the woolen tights and leggings, the leather jacket (although this is getting too overrated, mind you), the scarves and hats, cardigans and so forth.I smile at the idea of putting pieces together. I love all that.

And for now, I am IN LOVE with this look:

Something utterly right about the way she puts the pieces together: the pants are nicely understated yet so appropriate for winter. And the shoes and the oversized-scarf paired with the baggy jacket just make me want to beg her to sell those pieces to me on e-Bay! Simple, comfortable yet so classy. I love it.

All I need is a cup of hot chocolate, a book and a comfortable blanket with my socks and favorite pjs on. Nothing beats that.

Now I have a reason not to go out : )

C'est la vie!

2009-05-13T20:01:00.005+08:00

I've been meaning to write but haven't had that much chance with assignments that never cease.

And to think that I've exams in less than a month is just plain scary. I haven't had the chance to actually start studying cause my life is really all about assignments atm and the amount of workload I have is too overwhelming sometimes.

Buy hey, it's my final year...no one said it was easy so i suppose I just have to suck it all in =/

I'm envious of my friends who have finished their exams since my head is kinda elsewhere amidst all the bullcrap workload that I have...that's cause I truly miss home. (Hah! - there, I've said and meant it!) I can't wait to go back this July (even though it's for less than 2 weeks) - I feel like there's a lot to look forward to this time. I can't wait to see my uncle who's recovering from chemo right now, to hang out with my cousins who are back for their summer break from the UK, to spend time with my darling sister (who's gonna start college soon!!!), the road trip, the family gatherings, to shop in Zara with my mom and sister (yes people, they don't have Zara here in Australia), to get my new kittens, eat all my favorite food and just be around all the things I missed having around me.

t's as if you picture yourself close to the finishing line and so you might as well just give it your all. I guess it makes everything easier just thinking of it. Makes missing Daniel who's in freaking Bangkok bearable. Makes the thoughts of exam acceptable, you know?

On a lighter note, I'm very very tempted to watch Gomorrah (it's a mafia movie directed by SCORSESE baby!) which will be out here tomorrow. It's a blessing in disguise that I'm flat broke - at least I won't be spending money on movies. But seriously, I just wanna get it out of my system, you know? Well, I'll probably end up watching it as soon as I'm financially sound LOL.

Anyway, I'm gonna get back to studying french, have a 20% oral test tomorrow. Wish me luck!

A bientot, tout le monde!

Finally

2009-04-12T00:20:00.008+08:00

I never had a superhero. The way a kid look up to Captain America or Superman. I wish I felt that way about Spiderman, but I never did. Even if I did, the feeling doesn't last long enough. Once X-Men is shown on TV, I kept moving between Gambit and Cyclops. I never idolized Wonder Women or any female superheroes for that matter, I still don't understand how you can go on fighting crime with wearing that teeny - bit of cloth on your body without getting you sliced up by the bad guys. That's why I like Jubilee and even Storm (notice the liking for X-Men characters?). I know I respect Billy the Blue Ranger as not only he's a Power Ranger, but he's smart! Did I mention I also adore Sailor Mercury from Sailormoon and wish that they would put more emphasize on her character but then again, I don't want to be anyone of them.

I never had idols or role models except the Prophet p.b.u.h, and I believe that history and what we can see up till now , there's no such leader that is wise as him, who can influence the world like him and yet still manage to maintain the respect of both his followers, enemies and those who knew him.

Yet I never had a someone that I look up to, that I want to be like that is still living! It all changed when I was in high school. I can't remember the exact time - it maybe when I was in f3 or even f5. All I can safely say here is that there was this dude that started from scratch, continues to hold on to his passion - despite what people say, and the result is now res ipsa loquitor. Many people come and go but there's no one that fascinates me more than him. It feels exciting just by reading on how he progresses through his career. It maybe due to the kind of passion that I have in life and how it's quite the same with what he's doing, or he's just one of those few people that has the power of inspiring others to achieve greatness.

I believe that he's the closest thing to Superman for me now - even when he never actually rescues anyone. And I couldn't be more happy to have a chat with him today, finally. Yes people... I feel like a kid who just met Superman or his favourite hero for the 1st time and I very much like this feeling, this feeling of being inspired.

I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything else in the world! Not even an iPhone.

Ain't no sunshine... when there's the final exams

2009-04-07T23:13:00.009+08:00

Random thoughts and happenings (following Nabila's precedence)

1. Kris Allen's version of Ain't No Sunshine is very haunting. It carried me throughout the whole 3 hours and 5 minutes (minus the 10 minutes for being late, TERLUPA statute! I couldn't be more cacat than this). He's going to be the next Jason Mraz and if he can have original songs as haunting as that, it's def. a CD worth buying.

2. More of Idol. Yes, I'm a huge fan of this show, it's another one of those guilty pleasures I have.. people just can't get enough of seeing nobody turning into a somebody. I'm so excited that David Archuleta is coming here and thanks to Zaimah (for the digi contest she entered), I'll be there to hear him live dengan suara so-matured-for-his-age-nye LIVE! [we don't have Coldplay, Duffy, Alicia Keys or John Mayer here so this kid will do :) ]

3. The opposition won both 'Bukit's. Batang Ai is still with BN. It's not a shocker, the opposition has always find it hard to penetrate Sabah and Sarawak. What is important is that it shows the fact that Nizar's back and I think this is only solidifying the fact that Perak needs an election, fast!

4. I have yet to finish the term-limit on US presidency paper that Fareez wants and somehow, having a tough paper on Thursday is not helping.

5. I'm just a little too not over you - practising the lines for Archie's song. Haha. We even need a session to interpret the definition of the title.

6. FACEBOOK STALKING ain't cool. It's a term now, according to urbandictionary.com.

7. Magistrates are not allowed to have a blog, or even Facebook profiles. I'm not so sure whether this applies to the whole judiciary or not. Bummer.

8. The Maxis iPhone advertisement is driving everyone crazy. "You are a student, so you have to spend like one" but that's a little bit complicated when you get older. As you tend to be more picky in the food you eat, it's the same thing as cravings for gadget. I know I'm not making sense but since when do I make sense?

9. Accutane (yes, I'm on drugs just not the kind of drugs you wish for) is doing me wonders after a terrible 2 months walking around while Temoh asked whether I have bad sunburn on my face but I think I'm more depressed than usual, my mood is like a yo-yo and I eat more than what I should. Yes, I do blame the drug and not myself.

10. I'm not choosy it's just that I haven't found the right person. You cannot gamble on a relationship and treat it like another selipar toilet jepun. You have to treat it like a pair of Clarks shoes, the price is high and tha's why you need to treat it good, and it treats you good in return. Eventhough it's all worned out, you still love it because it's been there for you through the good and bad times. If it causes you problem, you try to find your way around it. You just don't throw it out. Relationship = Commitment. If you can't commit, don't be in one. I know I'm bad with analogies :).

11. HELP!

A blogger's block

2009-03-25T19:42:00.004+08:00

I find it hard to focus on writing anything remotely interesting in these past few months mostly because so many things that have been going on in my life are away from home that it's pointless to share the nitty gritty details on this blog.

I wish I was more involved with more things or people back home.

I don't wanna write for the sake of writing, you know?

Maybe I should take a break and explore many places and do stuffs I've been wanting to do but never really did. And then hopefully when I get through all that, I'll be more inspired to write (not just on this blog, mind you)

Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

I'm back but not completely back

2009-03-22T19:04:00.003+08:00

Discovered Paulo Coelho's blog from a friend, and I think it's so cool that he has one. Putting aside those snips of him singing (another passion of him I guess), I guess his blog will be one of those oasis for me after a stupid day and all you want at the end of the day is to make sense of it. Sesungguhnya di kala kesibukan ini, kita mudah terlupa untuk membaca - dan semakin lama menjadi semakin jahil.

"Then I thought of the dead man in his pajamas, of solitude so utter and abysmal that for twenty years nobody in this whole wide world had realized that he had simply disappeared without leaving a trace. And my conclusion is that worse than feeling hunger and thirst, worse than being jobless, suffering for love, in despair over some defeat – worse than all this is to feel that nobody, absolutely nobody in this world, cares for us."

A generous week

2009-03-16T22:57:00.002+08:00

A few reasons why I'm joyfully happy:

1) My sister got straight 10A's for her SPM! And she deserves every bit of it =D
2) I'm going to Sydney for my Easter break! Hope to buy the plane ticket tomorrow.
3) I've just decorated my room and had a spring cleaning in my lounge area. My apartment now looks twice the original size.
4) I managed to do my Corporate Finance tute and had a constructive discussion with Apok on leasing issues. I am, however, still unsure of the NPV calculations for the lessor/lessee example in Sean's lecture notes. I'm pretty sure there's a slight error.
5) I am still in the midst of organizing my housewarming with Aida - it's meant to be super glamorous. I'm so excited. We'll see how it goes.
6) My cousin K.Jehan just got married. To think that we used to play together when we were kids and now she's married? I'm so happy for her.
7) I love my french class - love the tutor/lecturer, my classmates and especially the language. Got a test this Thurs!
8) Bought a new mavi jeans (my fav) and a royal blue wool trench coat for winter, both from To the Max. Loooo-ve it!

It's not right, but it's ok.

2009-02-15T19:57:00.004+08:00

Something happened and I guess these past few days have been an eye-opening experience for me:

1) I've learnt that no matter how clever a person may appear, they are bound to make bad judgements.I guess there are some things that just can't be taught in universities.

2) There's no such thing as perfection in a human being. I've never been more sure than I am now.

3) I've said this once and I'm gonna say it again: You don't have to be friends with everyone.

People say we don't get to choose who our parents or family are but we DO get to choose our friends, thank God for that. Everyone's got something that they look up to or relate to in a partner or a friend, for example. Whether it's their lending ears, or their soulful heart , or just a common interest that we share with each other that could be just about anything.

The way I value and see the basics of friendship is just as similar as any relationship with that special someone though you don't necessarily treat them both inclusively. And that is, if that something with that someone doesn't work out for whatever reason, it's okay to call it quits.

I don't mean to say that everyone shouldn't try to make amends or work things through. I don't bad mouth that person to the whole world, I'm fairly civilized with everybody...There's just no point in trying to act like nothing's happened and that things would remain like it used to when the reality isn't. And I'd like to reject the idea that you HAVE to put up with everything to sustain something like a friendship, for example.

Let me try and be a bit more specific here - I'm not gonna try and be nice to someone who, because of his or her self interest, alters the way things are between me and my close circle of friends. Not even if that person is, or used to, be friends with me. I'm not wired that way, I just can't put on a nice face or hang out with a person that just irritated the shit out of me, and those closest to me would know that. I won't try to rekindle just for old time's sake. Like I said, if it happens it happens, otherwise it doesn't.

If I don't wanna talk to you, it's very simple: it's because I have nothing to say. It's nothing personal and it should be ok that way because people change, and some actions alter everything.

It's something all of us have to live with.

4) Try to keep things to yourself. It's a learning process for a lot of people including myself.

Jakun alert!

2009-02-15T17:49:00.003+08:00

I'm going to Australia. Lama lagi I know but let me be a jakun this time. Wooohooooo!! It's not really the place that psyches me up, it's more of my last chance to travel as a student part that is exciting ;). Though I wish that one day, I'll afford to have that travel across Europe plan... maybe.

It's good to have friends across borders. Yes, YOU!

Whatever

2009-02-05T17:24:00.003+08:00

Today, I choose to blog about friends who don't have the decency to call/text when changing plans for a big event. An event in which I won't be seeing another good friend of mine for who knows how many years.

Pissed off or angry are not quite the accurate words to describe my current feeling. In fact, it's not like that at all.

It's more of like a slightly annoyed in a "like-it's-so-fucking-hard-for-you-to-call-me-yeah,whatever" kind of way. How do I put it delicately?

In other words, it means I no longer am bothered about John's farewell which is so funny cause I was the one who was excited in the beginning. Not that I don't care he's leaving - just not excited anymore. And to quote what I would normally say: Whatever. Funnily enough, for once, I actually mean it.

I shall scrap that off my supposedly to-do mental list for today and replace it with a movie marathon and finish off this book I'm reading.

Have a good day, everyone!

That time of the month.

2009-01-27T21:53:00.002+08:00

I hate my ugly mood swings. PMS has turned really ugly this time!

HELP!

My European treat

2009-01-16T08:28:00.007+08:00

Hello, fellow bloggers/internet-savvy people/bored citizen!

I've been busy reconnecting with the holiday spirits that I totally ignored blogging for awhile.

I guess that's what people do in order to have more stuffs to write about. On second thoughts, maybe it's just me?

Anyway, my London-Euro trip was so much better than expected - covered 4 countries in less than 3 weeks! Our first stop was London which I'm thankful for cause I've managed to make it in time for Boxing Day - Selfridges and Harrods were (especially) crazy and everyone was literally boxing their way through every possible item that they can get their hands (or feet) on.No wonder it's called Boxing Day!

We then flew to Paris via Gatwick and well, Paris is Paris. A city of love indeed, you could tell by its people (or the many thousand tourists that flocked in). Everyone suddenly became so in love in Paris and there was this air of sophistication which I believe comes from the rich culture, the inexplicably beautiful and historic buildings and a very well-planned system from its metroline to its city planning. We spent 5 days there, 2 of which were completely devoted to sightseeing and I'm happy to say that we've covered Notre Dame, Pantheon, Eiffel Tour, Louvre Museum, Arc de Triomphe, Champs d' Elysee, and of course, the LV house ; ) I've never been in a city where everything is so... nice and proper. Too fairytale-ish for me but I like it noneheless. Everything's so proper that it's even hard to find a fat person in France (they are, after all, well-known for their slim figures) Even their McDonald's serve ONLY coke zero and all the burgers are relatively smaller in size. These Frenchies, they eat in small portions and it shows. The fashion is as proper and high-end as it gets that just by looking at the shops are itself an art - it's all about quality, style and precision. All in all, I had a really good time apart from getting chickenpox on my last day there before flying off to Berlin. Not joking y'all! I guess the chickenpox did agitate me a bit but I'm glad I had gotten it overseas because as my mom said,the cold weather was of big help and it's true. It was bearable and I'm lucky I didn't have fever, flu or anything else.

Anyway, back to Berlin! OMG, I absolutely loved Berlin! And I find it weird cause the shopping was pale in comparison to London and even the buildings were not as grand as Paris, but there's something utterly serene and beautiful about Berlin that I can't possibly put in words. There's just something about the Germans that give you a sense of discipline - something I imagine would derive from their history and hardships and you could tell by it. It was so cool to see Checkpoint Charlie, the Berlin wall, the flea markets and restaurants, but my ultimate highlight would have to be the trip to Potsdam - an hour drive from the city of Berlin. It was said that Brangelina had stayed there for a few months while they settled in Berlin and I could see why they chose Potsdam. Imagine woody scent and naked brown alpine-like trees, clear blue flowing rivers, thick white snow but with the a sunny backdrop that gives the most amazing natural lighting, cross-architectural influences of the Dutch, Russians and Germans. No traffics, no huge shopping malls - just real people in an amazing place.

I still don't know what is it about Berlin that I really like, but I think it's the dark history behind it that although already eradicated, has given the Germans a sense of realness and genuineness that's so hard to find elsewhere.

On our 3rd day in Berlin, we took a train to Prague or better known as "Praha" by the locals (capital city of Czech Republic). Believe it or not, we survived a -22C morning while waiting at the train station in Berlin and Prague was about -10C at night. Prague's such a small city with big wonders. It's one of the few European countries that still maintains their own currency (although Euro's used everywhere). The main tourist attraction is at the heart of the city and it's easy to move about as you could just walk seeing how small it is. Let's just say that it's picturesque - a perfect definition of a fairy tale land you thought only existed in fairy tale stories. It truly is a wonder, especially at night and especially at Charlie bridge which has the best view of Prague and the Vltava river. As if custom-made to be a tourist place, Prague is a tourist's haven and anyone with a knack for antiques/chandeliers/decor/puppets/paintings would fall in love with this place. I sure did! A word of advice, it's enough to stay in Prague for 2 or 3 days max, you'll probably cover almost everything. We stayed there for 2 days, 1 night and it was fun! : ) After Prague, we went back to Berlin also via train and I must say that for those of you planning for a holiday in Europe, traveling by train is a must-do cause you get firsthand experience just like the locals and first-class views that no aircraft could compensate for. After staying in Berlin for a few more days, we jetted back to London again to meet up with my cousins who live there and had the best time ever with more shopping done before heading back to KL ; )

Overall, it's been a very humbling journey right from the start to the end. It's impossible to tell it in words as no justice would be done. There's so much to absorb in that little time I was there but I loved every minute of it. Now I'm so pumped up to travel all over the world and see everything that life has to offer. I'm sure most of you have new years resolution - I don't have any but I do wish for better things to come insyaAllah. And I surely hope that I get to travel more, which means that I'll save up for my Aussie trip 09'! But for now, thanks mum and paps! : )

Happy holidays, everyone!

2009-01-11T19:16:00.002+08:00

Akan ku bawa bersamaku sebuah diary, ke mana-mana ku pergi supaya "pemikiran" yang datang begitu saja atau tanpa diundang akan dapat kekal bersamaku.

Unjust Peace will happen after the crisis

2009-01-10T00:11:00.003+08:00

I was lucky to have had a tutorial session in the morning for my Public International Law class where Zaimah raised some very good points on the UN Security Council & General Assembly during her presentation. It was a moo point in the tutorial to discuss whether or not there is International Law (IL), as IL has been effective in situations where it's easy to get a consensus on issues like health and pirates. It's effective when states ratify and adhere to it. The question is ; What if states does not ratify it, and even if they ratify it, can they still get around it somehow? Political clout and will is half of international law and unfortunately, if you're one of the Big 5, you can get away with anything. Therefore, is it really 'law' in this instance when the rule of law has been undermined ; when you can be selective in the application as to what laws you want to impose and the parties to whom the law should be imposed upon.

An extension to the day, I had the opportunity to listen to Dr. Chandra Muzaffar this evening, when he was there in IIU to give a talk on Gaza : International Response. He suggested proudly that JUST Malaysia and some other counterparts will work very hard to establish a tribunal - to trial the injustices done by Israel in the recent Gaza event. As much as I applaud the initiative to do something about it ; we can't escape the question of "what's next?". Even if you can establish the wrongdoings (somehow you can get get Israel to co-operate in this?), WHAT'S NEXT? Forwarding such ideas must have an end result, and objective. What will JUST achieve from this?

If one thing that I appreciate from the talk is noticing the similarities of my view pertaining to the recent issue with his, and it's good for him to spread the message around especially in IIU, where some people just don't want to listen to the other side of the story. What's happening right now does not only concerns Muslims and Jews, the injustice done by the Israeli Government and it's system is one that affects us all - regardless of what religion you're from, or even if you don't believe in a religion. It is a humanitarian crisis, and this is the aspect that we need to look into if we want to make this fight more inclusive to others. And not see it as a personal struggle of religions that wouldn't bring a step further to peace.

All time fav

2008-12-09T23:33:00.004+08:00

Absolute stillness

2008-12-08T22:38:00.003+08:00

Hey everybody,

I just realized that I haven't been listening to any songs other than my iTunes which are really really outdated songs. And it doesn't help that I put the exact same song on replay =/ Maybe I should start bouncing back to the mainstream music?

Or maybe not. (I don't mean to sound whiny and all that, but it was the first time in like 6 months since I last tuned in to the radio stations here in KL, and I can't believe how shitty it is. They play the same song for more than 20 times a day!?)

Anyways, I'm back in KL now! Aaaaaaah...it's always good to be home. I haven't met up with any of my friends yet. To tell you the truth, I don't go out much. Probably not enough at all. I know, I am a complete couch potato who spends her whole day watching TV, if not sleeping or reading or on the internet. Don't be fooled, I'm not even reading any worthy articles as of now - no political articles or novels, just pure bimbo-ness courtesy of Hello, OK!, Vogue, Perezhilton.com, Bazaar, fashion blogs and any of the likes. Yes, I have become worse off since attending uni. The last thing I wanna do after say, reading Management of Financial Institution or Deegan's Financial Accounting or the 800-something-page Corporate Law textbook is to have more heavy readings. So I'm happy to be in this position where I feel smarter than ever by dodging myself with completely irrelevant and trivial information. I love it! =)

I do, however, have a mental list of what I'd love to do this holiday. Just really simple stuff like hanging out with friends, and maybe attend some events, like the Rantai Art Event in Ampang next week or perhaps some plays? (Do they have any?) I was really looking forward to hanging out at my aunts' place but one of my aunt's in LA with her whole family and the other one's in Mecca right now for Hajj with her family. And Naseeha and Muneeba are going to Egypt in less than 2 weeks. Then it's Euro trip for me Insya Allah : ) If everything goes well, I'll be leaving on Christmas day for around 3 weeks. It's been almost 4 years since my last trip to London and it'll be my first time in Paris, Prague and Berlin so I'm especially looking forward to that *fingers crossed* Which explains why I'm brushing up on my rusty French so that I'll be able to speak with the locals and make the most out of my time there. Then there's the PETRONAS camp which will be a few days after I arrive back to KL. I just saw the program outline and I must say it looks pretty damn good - kayaking to and fro Pangkor Island, camping out, rigging/sailing/rowing, expedition planning, cooking whilst camping out and all that. I'm so diggin it- finally get to do some cool stuff which I love =)

Having said that, I guess my holiday would be pretty much packed in a non-crazy kinda way which is good cause I still want to be able to laze around doing nothing. My mom wants me to do internship with PWC, but seeing how limited my days are in KL, I don't think it'll be viable after all. We'll see how things go...

Oh, did I mention that my exam results are coming out THIS friday? (What, already?!) OMG. I just hope I do well enough in all to have a good holiday without a clouded mind (Amin to that). I'm a bit scared for Cost Management and perhaps ACE since I did badly in my mid-sem but I hope it turns out OK.

Oh wow, I'm sleepy right now. Had a late jog with my sys and mom.

See yous! =)

2008-11-27T18:15:00.002+08:00

I'm not feeling too well today and Royal's will start tomorrow. Yikes. I'll promise to blog on Royals, whatever the outcome is, as I have this gut feeling that this would be my last Royals!

ps: Semua dijemput hadir!

Just another day

2008-11-22T08:50:00.002+08:00

This coming Tuesday and Wednesday - 2 of the most important exams yet.

Stressed out.

Exhausted.

Back and joint pain.

And now, HUNGRY. No food at home yet the weather is 15' outside (plus rainy and windy) so it will take a hell lot of will power for me to brave the cold just to keep the growling noises from my tummy silent for a minute.

Don't you feel sorry for me?

I feel sorry for me.

Someone, feed me and give me a back rub please. Sigh.

I wanna go home.

Slumdog Millionare

2008-11-15T20:48:00.002+08:00

I just saw the trailer and read the reviews of this movie, and I must say - I'm having great expectations already. I hope this movie will hit our shores, tho I'm a bit skeptical that it would happen. Can't hardly wait...

I am officially SAD

2008-11-14T19:13:00.003+08:00

Someone's going to Bangkok for THREE WEEKS next Tuesday and will only come back 2 days before my flight back to KL ='(

I'll put on a smile and try not to do anything stupid, like cry (don't think I will though)

I just hate saying goodbye.

Making sense of Shahril

2008-11-13T18:29:00.003+08:00

by Zuhri Aziz

A motion on education at the Umno Lembah Pantai division meeting last week caught my interest. It was for more emphasis on the subject of history in schools a direct response to the Prime Ministers call to make the subject compulsory at primary school level. It ultimately found unanimous support among delegates.

The rationale: History can fill the gaping vacuum that has been preventing the majority of youth from appreciating the socio-cultural development of the various communities in Malaysia.

Admittedly, I too have struggled to find a satisfactory explanation as to why this has happened. After all, I underwent roughly the same syllabus the history of Malaysia's road to nationhood and learnt the importance of harmonious race relations. So, why the sudden need to re-educate our youth?

I met with Shahril, 23, a former student leader. As a representative of his young peers and a proud second generation product of the New Economic Policy, I was hopeful he would be able to provide a thought starter. I was also aware that a conversation with Shahril would not (by a mile) constitute a comprehensive picture of the issue.

As we spoke and I found out more about the diet Shahril and his friends grew up on, it reinforced my initial belief that an important reason behind the different ways we view Malaysia was because of access to information.

My generation had relied heavily on the textbooks, teachers and of course the Government-controlled media. In many cases, whatever information churned out was taken as unquestionable truth. Shahril, on the other hand, had grown up with the Internet.

It was his medium and a strong substitute for traditional information dissemination. His understanding of historical and cultural realities were influenced by the many analysts and pioneer online socio-political commentators like the late journalist MGG Pillai and current MP Jeff Ooi. Although Shahril said he had abandoned most local forums and blogs because of their increasingly tabloid-esque content, the Internet connection was and nonetheless still is the major influencing platform for his generations strong views on issues. Views that were not necessarily the same as those in the mainstream media.

His political awakening, he remembers, came circa 1998 the controversies, and commotion surrounding Anwar Ibrahim. The extensive coverage of subsequent court cases via alternative telecommunications platforms guaranteed that Shahrils generation was arriving at political cynicism much earlier. As a result, although an Umno supporter, Shahril admitted to still feeling some degree of sympathy towards Anwar.

Shahril also seemed focused on the intangibles of a host of different issues including race relations, equality, freedom of speech, and injustices in politics. For example, he couldn't fathom why much of the Barisan Nasional campaign rhetoric of the last General Elections insisted on looking backwards by focusing on physical development. To Shahril and his peers, the physical developmental prowess of the BN was old currency.

In his eyes, Bangsar has always been a thriving entertainment and shopping district. The North South highway has always connected people from faraway places. In a way, this embodies the fact that Malaysia is taken for granted by many and especially by our youth as a constantly developing country. Physically anyway.

So, Shahrils generation is looking out for explanations on certain current issues relating to nation-building and race relations that will shape their future. Specifically, they feel the traditional rhetoric must be modified. The thirst for answers for their analytical and Internet influenced mind must be quenched by laying out the facts, toning down the spin.

As much as they look at past history, they are also looking at the future.

People of my generation must admit that the goal post has changed. I feel we may well be playing a different game altogether. As the electorate becomes younger almost 50 per cent by the time the next election comes around there is a need to address the detachment.

Do not get me wrong; it is a good idea to inject history lessons at a younger age. But we need to look at the issue in light of today's realities. It would be simplistic to think the younger generations views are formed by their ignorance of the facts of history, or due to the case of young blood.

As Shahril took leave and walked away from our coffee table, I picked up the distinct youthful swagger in his stride.

I am unsure if we have failed our younger generation, but we have certainly failed to keep up with them.

● Zuhri Aziz is the Deputy Director of Akademi Pemuda. The views expressed here and in his recently set up blog (tgzuhri.blogspot. com) do not represent the views of the organisation he works with.

*Taken from today's Malay Mail

Dropping by

2008-11-13T15:38:00.002+08:00

I had a bad week.

So i think i deserve today's delight - the good night sleep, the yummy sushi, the perfect sunny weather, the nice atmosphere outside. Suddenly everything and everyone look picture perfect in my eyes : )

Thursday's a very productive day indeed! Settled all my laundry, petronas claims, cleaned my room so at least I get to breathe fresh air for a start : ) All I need to do left is to vacuum my room (my vacuum cleaner's not working though) AND bring myself to study. Oh my. Okay, I HAVE TO start tonite. I can't afford to screw any one of my papers. Especially not this semester please. So yes Nabila, do yourself a favor and start doing some serious accounting work ok?

OK.

Anyways, that's it I guess.

More of happier days ahead, I hope!

Exams

2008-11-01T20:27:00.004+08:00

My finals are coming up in about a week.

Yes, I am currently in the self-absorbed/obsessive mode where I think, eat and breathe Corporate Law and MFI. I wished it had come sooner than this but it's never too late right.

I hope this obsession stays till my exam. I need this sorta momentum going.

And NO, I will NOT drop any of my finance subjects just because some of my friends are doing it hence I will still stick to my old plan of majoring in both accounting & finance cause I love finance. Plus it's good to have finance to balance out the technical and boring aspects of accounting. The calculations and theory in finance can at least keep me sane and entertained for the whole one year plus that I have left.

Et pour votre information, je vais etudiante le langue de francais, encore! Je suis tres heureux! : )

Anyway, wish me luck in my exam! I'll be needing your prayers : )

Have a good night everyone

xxxxxx

I miss them!

2008-10-27T20:20:00.006+08:00

Books Galore! MPH Warehouse Sale..

2008-10-26T20:05:00.009+08:00

I'm not going to spend any money now on books. I think I spent quite enough money on it to last me for a couple of months especially after the finals. I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't find George Orwell's 1984 and Animal Farm (since the waiting line on Zati's book is so long!). It was really HOT and there was so many people around but it was worth the time and money spent. Books of my selection are priced from rm8, 15 and 20.

I managed to get Zaimah The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger, and if she replied my msg, Dante's Inferno. Got 3 books for Mama - 2 by Lee Child and 1 James Patterson. She really digs into this whole mystery/espionage series and little sister got herself the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer which is said to be replacing the Harry Potter craze which I don't quite understand because it's nowhere as good as Harry and also Spark's A Walk To Remember. It's filled with raging teenage hormones (yes, I was doped into buying the first book..).

I managed to treat myself to classics, something which I want to get for a long time. Bronte, Dickens, Dostoevsky, Oscar Wilde and Henry James. I also managed to get some book by Grisham, Ahern, Zaid Ibrahim, and Picoult. I was tempted to get 1421 but I was trying not to be greedy.

This isn't the right time to be talking about fictions when final exams are coming up in less than 5 days! All the best in your respective finals, whoever you are and wherever you are.

God works in mysterious ways

2008-10-19T22:15:00.006+08:00

My dear friend Sara has passed away at 9.15 pm malaysian time in her battle against cancer.

Al-fatihah.

Please extend our prayers to her and may Allah s.w.t. bless her and may she rest in peace, InsyaAllah.

I was so shocked (still is) after I received the news 15 minutes ago . A friend of mine told me 'it's a reminder to us that life is temporary, and can be taken away at any time'.....MasyaAllah.

I love you, Sara.

Prayers,
Your friend Nabila.

L.O.V.E.

2008-10-17T23:41:00.002+08:00

Love offers no logical explanation, and it should stay that way.

I am, in love. Which is not necessarily all that good, or bad either. Just in love.

Lalala...

2008-10-08T15:11:00.002+08:00

I am blogging from the Law library. You get the coolest view from where I am right now.

Anyways.Supposed to be catching up on my lectures and tute work, but what does a few minutes of blogging do? Well, I'll take my chances.

I admit that I am quite the hopeless blogger that I am when it comes to updating this blog (and I can say the same for you Pipon) =P But in my defence,there's nothing out of the ordinary to write about,particularly cause everything's been more or less the same so why bother boring everyone with the details?

SO...what's going on,you ask? Well, I just finished my 2-week break which, like most cases, suck big time. That simply means sticking back to the vicious cycle of classes, work load and whatnots. And cutting back on wasteful activities which I favour over the one I'm having right now. Nonetheless, I've got to stay focus and keep myself grounded for the remaining part of this semester. I don't wanna screw this one up (God forbid) plus I'm quite looking forward to what would be a probable Europe trip with my family InsyaAllah.

Oh, I forgot to mention about my trip to Mornington Peninsular, which is a 2-hour drive away from inner Melbourne. For the first time, I actually swam with the seals and dolphins in the ocean and it was freaking freaking AWESOME! The beach water was crystal clear and not quite like any beach I've ever seen before and fortunately for us, the wheather was sunny and perfect (though the water temp was a freezing 10 celcius). I'll post up some pics as soon as I get them from the rest :) Other than the trip, I just spent my days just going out, a bit of shopping here and there, PetroVic dinner and of course, raya feast...which reminds me SELAMAT HARI RAYA,MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN to everyone! :) My raya here wasn't nearly as fun as the ones I had with my family and friends back home but I guess it's what you make of it.

Speaking of family, did I mention that my aunt's coming this Sunday? I'm ecstatic! I'm actually missing Malam Gemilang to hang out with her but c'mon,let's be realistic
here: Malam Gemilang over staying at a 5-star hotel with your favorite aunt? Not a chance! So yes, I wish her a safe and sound journey to Melbourne :)

Tun Mahathir's coming this Saturday for the Seminar Pembangunan Ihsan and I'll be expected to be up so early that morning cause me and a few of my friends will have to take care of the registration, which starts at 9am. Uh-huh. Anyhow, I'm looking forward to that event and I'll let you know on the insights on that day.

Well people,I think I've said what I wanted to say..or at least most of it. Gotta start on my work now. Till next time, ciao!

xxxxxx

I'll be Back

2008-10-05T13:29:00.001+08:00

I promise..... .SOON!

This time I'll try to be me again after SPM. If you know what I mean, good for you!

Nothing in particular

2008-09-21T23:36:00.003+08:00

I've given up trying to find a maxi dress.

Everything that I've been eyeing either isn't maxi enough i.e. a tad too short, or caters only for those with "too small" or "too big" a bust.

I'm starting to feel like they have something against me. Or maybe it's just the 20 or so shops that I've been to. Sigh.

Nonetheless, I managed to buy this gorgeous emerald green summer dress from ishka this evening and I'm really happy with it! Considering the weather in Melbourne is still very much in the winter-cum-spring zone, I think I'd give it another month or so before I can wear it. I guess the beach would have to wait.

Anyways, can't believe September is almost over now and October's on its way - gosh it'll be such a hectic month and by that, I mean raya celebrations, the Seminar Pembangunan Ihsan (something like that) with Dr. Mahathir (yup,the big old man's coming to town) then there's Malam Gemilang on the 12th Oct which will be on the same day my aunt's visiting me (especially looking forward to this). Then of course there's my birthday on the 19th (I'm afraid I'm not gonna be all modest about it...LOL) then there's also exam preps and whatnots. I hope it'll be a good month ahead! Amin to that.

Oooh did I mention that I'm on a 2-week break right now? One word: HEAVEN. Just what I need after a not much sought-after first half of the semester. But I suppose I cant complain much cause so far things aren't that bad, academic-wise. I got a H1 for my cost management mid-sem test (yeay) but on the other hand, sucked badly in ACE (Accounting for Corporate Entities). So bad that I thought I was gonna fail the test so I'm really thankful that I didn't! But that's not an excuse for my shitty result so I really have to start putting more effort into ACE.

Anyways, I've got so many things that are bugging me right now. My mind is in such a mess and not in its best state yet since these last few days. In fact, I'm quite surprised at how NORMAL I seem to be blogging. I do not and will not mention it here but I'm thankful to have this blog as a leverage for me to vent out some stuffs that people consider to be so trivial yet so significant and important to me (like the maxi dress that doesn't fit me, for example). That's the only way I know on how to help me deal with a bad day - writing. It helps me focus on other parts of my life and the more trivial it is, the more I tend to take things around me lightly and with a sense of humor. Maybe that's why I'm a sucker for stupid sites like perezhilton.com or online shopping like e-bay or gojane.com (girls, you HAVE to check out the shoes!!!! It's bloody nice and filthy cheap). It helps me shift my attention from the problems that I have, even if it's temporary. It works for me...

Hrmphhh I'm sleepy as ever hsjfhfhsgdfhsdgfhgsdhfgs....so sleepy that I can't type right. Heh.

Will update some other time. Until then, later!

Happy ramadhan

2008-09-04T23:28:00.003+08:00

1) I've got so many things that I'd like to add and improvise in this blog yet I am, unfortunately, technologically-challenged in every sense of the word. Does the thought count, though? :P

2) I can be totally self-absorbed for 4 whole days and then lose it the next second. I was so engrossed in my work that I completely didn't think about Daniel and now I'm missing him like a fat boy misses his treats on a strict diet regime. I've made a point only to see him occasionally throughout Ramadhan and by that, I mean just dropping by at the restaurant to say hello. It's been 5 full days and I find that it's bearable but sometimes, I can't help but miss him a lot :(

3) I didn't celebrate merdeka in ANY way. Slept the whole day after a long night-out. Now I feel like a lousy good-for-nothing Malaysian citizen. I've definitely lost my social independence this time around. I can count how many times I've been out with my friends this semester and trust me, it doesn't even require me to lift my other hand in doing so.

4) I'm so proud of my sister, I know she's working hard and most importantly, trying her best and giving it her all. That's all that counts, Sarah.

5) I miss Bazaar ramadhan - I especially miss bubur lambuk and taufu fa - my puasa necessities.

6) I've got 3 mid-sem tests next week - Cost Management & MFI on Tuesday (yes, TWO papers in ONE day) and ACE on Thursday, which accounts for 20% and 30% of my overall assessment. I've studied quite a fair bit but there's still HEAPS more to go. Hope I do well in all three. Wish me well, people : )

7) I'm addicted to the tuscan olives + sundried tomatoes they sell at the deli section in safeway. I wish I had a backyard full of olives and tomatoes. I've also tried the char-grilled mushroom and grilled eggplants with herbs. Yes I know, I'm a sucker for antipastos.

Kita mudah lupa

2008-09-02T00:53:00.003+08:00

Guru Oh Guru

Berburu ke padang datar
Dapat rusa belang kaki
Berguru kepala ajar
Ibarat bunga kembang tak jadi

Dialah pemberi paling setia
Tiap akar ilmu miliknya
Pelita dan lampu segala
Untuk manusia sebelum jadi dewasa.

Dialah ibu dialah bapa juga sahabat
Alur kesetiaan mengalirkan nasihat
Pemimpin yang ditauliahkan segala umat
Seribu tahun katanya menjadi hikmat.

Jika hari ini seorang Perdana Menteri berkuasa
Jika hari ini seorang Raja menaiki takhta
Jika hari ini seorang Presiden sebuah negara
Jika hari ini seorang ulama yang mulia
Jika hari ini seorang peguam menang bicara
Jika hari ini seorang penulis terkemuka
Jika hari ini siapa sahaja menjadi dewasa;
Sejarahnya dimulakan oleh seorang guru biasa
Dengan lembut sabarnya mengajar tulis-baca.

Di mana-mana dia berdiri di muka muridnya
Di sebuah sekolah mewah di Ibu Kota
Di bangunan tua sekolah Hulu Terengganu
Dia adalah guru mewakili seribu buku;
Semakin terpencil duduknya di ceruk desa
Semakin bererti tugasnya kepada negara.
Jadilah apa pun pada akhir kehidupanmu, guruku
Budi yang diapungkan di dulangi ilmu
Panggilan keramat "cikgu" kekal terpahat
Menjadi kenangan ke akhir hayat.

-Usman Awang, 1979

Not liking it so far

2008-08-25T16:50:00.002+08:00

You know when your head is cluttered up with so many things yet you just find it hard to organize your thoughts and effectively communicate it?

Writer's block.

Anyways.

I am, first and foremost, unhappy with the way I've been leading my life, academic-wise. I feel so left behind in some certain departments, especially in terms of managing my time. I've been too caught up with the Olympics and maybe cramming 3 days of uni is not such a good idea after all? Yes, I think so. And to make things worse, I've got a back-to-back mid sem tests in approximately 2 weeks and I am, a bit....clueless (especially with MFI). So yes, there will be NO Merdeka celebrations for me this time. Certainly no clubbing, parties or any of the likes. I'm going to make a point to stay in the library after uni till night and get the work done cause I know there's a huge chance I won't be able to do it at home with all the distractions and all that.

Why is it that I'm not as efficient as last semester?

I really don't know. I don't think it's the case of contentment or taking things for granted. I mean, I do almost all my tute work and all that and I try to attend all lectures but I guess I'm finding the subjects this semester really, really hard. A senior of mine did say to us (us being me and my fellow 2nd year commerce comrades) that the 2nd semester in 2nd year would be the hardest part through out our whole course so I guess reality has really started to kick in right now.

Anyways.

I've got to really start thinking hard bout my near future. Having said that, I'm gonna have to fast for these remaining days before puasa starts again and as I've mentioned, start doing the extra work.

I want to be that nerd I thought I was last semester, and so I think it's best for me to stipulate some self-interest by saying goodbye for now.

Have a nice day, people and wish me luck! : )

What is reading - but silent conversation

2008-08-24T01:24:00.005+08:00

"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once" - Charles Lamb

"You really never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

"Before I can live with other folks, I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience."

-Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird (1960)

I'm really glad that I read the book.

My top 3 pick. Amazing people.

2008-08-17T23:30:00.003+08:00

2008-08-11T21:27:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I still have another 6 days to fast before Ramadhan comes again.

6 days.

Should be easy peasy.

Yeah right!

In this cold weather (it's around 5 degrees right now), all I ever want to do is eat and just hibernate in my comfy blanket with a hot chocolate or teh susu in my hand. Haha. So, fasting will be a tough thing to do, but I don't really have a choice now, do I? =/

Anyways, I spent a good deal of time on my MFI tute work and I have to say that the second part of the tute questions were tough! I mean, I'm pretty sure I could've done it IF I did attend that particular 9AM thursday leture lol. So yes Nabila, you shouldn't miss any MFI lecture that has to do with freaking liquidity premium theory and expectations theory and heavy stuffs on loans and deposits. Serves me right. Nonetheless, I'm pretty sure I can catch up especially after my tute discussion tomorrow morning. Hopefully : )

On a separate note, I'd like to profess my deep interest in the Olympics this year! Man did you see the basketball match between China & USA? I thoroughly enjoyed it! =) And of course, swimming - Libby Trickett was just awesome, along with the US relay team (Is it just me or is Michael Phelps really cocky?). I thought rowing and weightlifting (LOL) were also fun to watch. Basically, I can safely say that I'm addicted to it especially over the weekend but somehow, I've managed to cut down on the hours I spend watching it.

I'd love to write more, but I should stop. Gotta wake up for sahur tomorrow and make it to my 9 am class. Yes people, my Monday blues are actually on Tuesday =/

So far so good!

2008-08-08T22:06:00.008+08:00

I had such as awesome time!!! Many thanks to Mieza and Sarah and of course, Johan and Shhoba (is this how you spell it lol) for spelling out the fun moments : ) I wish I could've made it to Mount Buller with you guys, but hey I ain't complaining : )

Hanging out with them made me realize how much I miss some of my friends. Friends which I've known for years - from the ones in primary school to some of my tkc friends to my kdu pals and childhood friends. Sticking with the same people here doesn't help much cause I get admittedly, tired and bored sometimes (no offense to the my friends here, I love you guys! But we're all probly sick of each other,no? Lol).

Anyways, went shopping today and here's what I spent on:

1) A brown leather wallet
2) A pair of black Dunlop Volley sneakers (like,finally!)
3) Shoes

Part of me regrets going out cause somehow, my inner shoe demons have seemed to resurface, and I have a funny feeling that they're gonna hang around for a really really long time. Currently, I'm saving up for a particular 2-tone lace-up saddle shoe pumps (though I've got a similar one but in another color). Oh,check out that dress (refer to pic) up there. I just wish I can get back into shape to be able to wear that. Wow what a scary thought now that I've mentioned =P

2008-08-05T09:43:00.001+08:00

Read while waiting project seems like an interesting one and one that is close to the heart. Count me in!

I miss home

2008-08-02T21:08:00.006+08:00

I've never really been homesick since I got here in the true sense of the word. Usually it's more like a mellow feeling but now it's starting to kick in really hard. I'm thankful for having Daniel around though, at least he keeps my mind off things for a bit. But sometimes I wonder if I get even more homesick when I'm surrounded by him and his family.Lol.

I promised myself that I'm gonna start studying come 2nd week of uni.Basically, what that means is that I have only 2 days left to slack off and man it's hard to go back down the uni road again! But I'M GONNA DO IT regardless!!! (just getting into the spirit..lol) I haven't been doing anything out of the ordinary.Haven't seen a handful of my friends yet plus it's friggin cold here so maybe that's also the reason why I get homesick. Not really an ideal backdrop after spending so much time in sweet KL with family and friends.Whatever it is, I'm positive that this emotional roller coaster ride will eventually go back to its normal pace, just patiently waiting in the mean time.

I'm kinda looking forward to tomorrow night's get-together at Tia's place, mostly cause it's been ages since all of us last had our poker game together and catch up on things. Plus I NEED to get Amir to fix my printer cause I can no longer afford to walk all the way to the library and pay a ridiculous amount of money just for printing.Not when I actually have a 300-something-dollar printer at home NOT IN USE. I hate not being able to print my lecture notes on time so yes Amir, I'm counting on you to end my misery pleasethankyou =)

I'm reading James Patterson's The 6th target at the moment. Nothing special, just thought I could kill time.Any recommendations,people? I'm looking for a rather humorous book, should stop reading mystery/depressing novels for now. Feel free to enlighten me on the details.

Anyway, did I mention that I was gonna look for a job? See, I have my Mondays and Fridays off so I'm thinking of working in an accounting firm doing internship on Fridays and proby do casual work every Monday. But I'm not very keen on doing waitressing again mainly because of the inflexible hours.I'd do it if I could get a job in the afternooon though,but definitely not at night.Whatever it is, I'm just gonna print out my resume and send it to 1) Borders 2) a few boutiques on Lygon St. 3) a few restaurants. Wish me luck!

It's almost midnight here,I guess I'll stop writing. I think I'm gonna vacuum my room in heels (call me shallow but i do it sometimes haha) and then continue reading my book while singing along to the songs in my itunes, and hopefully doze off =)

Have a good weekend, people!

Thanks ayie for including me in this

2008-07-30T21:36:00.002+08:00

http://www.msls08.com/index.php

"Managing the Malaysian economy in the face of global economic uncertainties"

Something to talk about

2008-07-20T20:45:00.012+08:00

Nabila told me that the blog needs some form of acknowledgement coming from me. Sadly its true. There's nothing much to blog about, really. Australs preparation and how tired I felt before that, Australs, Manila itself and the the very much hyped about apartment that rocks big time, ESL and not breaking in main category, catching up with classes in uni (yes, you can miss a lot in 1 week especially when you have 'highly philosophical classes!), adjusting with totally new subjects and feeling the need to read everything yet willpower is so low and hitting a makcik's car infront of CAC (makcik's car punya bumper kemek and myvi selamat with minimal scratches) and I think the cause of the accident was very much mutual, orang-orang UMNO minta DSAI voluntary give out his DNA (macam sangat bodoh when in 1998 he was charged with the same offence, takkan takde evidence time tu), and of course, SHOPPING!!!! The mega sale is SO on..

A blog post needs to have a point and my point hereis that : I'M GRATEFUL. Really am grateful for my life and how it's turning out to be especially the juggle between others and studies. I'm grateful that I have a good support system and eventhough the BF department is still very much vacant, I think it's better to have one because He's the one rather than you have one because you really want one. No need to rush in things ryte? (I can sense myra is reading this part with a cynical look on her face and nabila is beaming with pride :) )

I ACTUALLY finished a book last week because I had trouble sleeping at night. The Kite Runner is a must have.

Lastly, you only have 1 week left in Malaysia and I really hope that I'm able to meet you at least twice this week. Can't believe how time flies..

First ever for the 'career'

IIU 2

Dear Mr Prime Minister,

2008-07-18T23:33:00.013+08:00

While the oil prices have sky-rocketed, the government is against the subsidy policy. Instead, they decide to increase oil prices and according to them, one of the aims is to reduce inflationary pressure. Yes,8% is a pretty hefty figure, after all. In the simplest economic theory, a rise in price (or alternatively, an increase in taxes but this is not the case) would reduce aggregate demand and as a result, would reduce inflation, in general. But what the government fail to realize is the fact that this inflation is not just a general increase in the prices of ONE good (which they seem to be focusing on oil), but it is the overall effect of an increase in the prices of goods/services and I guess we could also relate it to the spillover effect. What that means is simply the effect of the oil prices on other goods/services. For example, an increase in oil prices would mean that most airlines would increase their ticket price as well (evidently) and since their cost of servicing has also increased, thus customers are worse-off. And while some may argue that the public can switch to other alternative transportations, we must first look at the situation from a social standpoint: How effective and accommodating is our public transportations in Malaysia? Will the sudden increase in the demands of public transportation be met in the short-term now that the oil price is high at CURRENT time? They even have the fucking blue bas kilang which I thought was long gone for God's sake! And some of the KTM conditions are clear-cut examples of a third-world infrastructure. So,again, the public are the ones that are worse-off. So yes, the government CAN improve by spending on infrastructure development, which adds up to hundreds of millions (if not billions) more in the budget. I agree that whether or not because of the oil crisis, money is still needed in that sector anyway plus it is for long-term effect. I'm cool with that BUT what I'm not cool about is the fact that the government (ahem) policies do not counter the very core issue - that is, to ease the burden of its citizens. Although macro economic policies like increasing price to reduce inflation may seem like an effective short-term tool,the time taken for it to take effect is most likely to be longer than the rate at which the oil price fluctuates, or in most recent cases, increases. Thus, as Malaysian citizens who are made up of different classes which consist mostly of lower and middle class, subsidies can be a DIRECT form of relief in which the effects are certain in the sense that people actually pay less as opposed to waiting for the market to adjust itself. The danger of the market mechanism is that the equilibrium price may still be considered high even after market adjustments, and so subsidies may counter that problem and secondly, the time taken for the market to adjust is so subjective that people have no guess on how the market price will react after this .Hence, people want certainty - that's just human nature. For example, if you were a customer in a Nasi Lemak restaurant and the price of anchovies, for example, is so high (let's assume due to the water pollution hence less supply) and so many people have lodged complaints of the high price of the nasi lemak. As a customer, would you prefer if the authorities demand the restaurant owner to reduce its price or would you prefer to get money to compensate for the higher price? Personally, I would prefer the latter because getting the money ensures that you WILL have the means to pay for the yummy nasi lemak (though it also depends on how much is given) but waiting for the restaurant owner to adjust its new price would mean that you're not sure when is it going to be effective and how much will the new price be, IF agreed between the owner and authorities. It's kind of like that, I guess. People want some insurance or a guarantee, and subsidies fit the role. It's a matter of mentality, perceptions and considerations.

Maybe some people undermine the effect of subsidies because they don't think the oil price effects are THAT bad, at least not to them. Well, maybe it's because they don't fill in their own tanks, or maybe they just have too much money that they feel indifferent. Unfortunately, not all Malaysians I know are as privileged as you, Mr. Prime Minister.

Higher petrol prices means bigger bucks for the "country", so you say?

2008-07-16T23:41:00.003+08:00

I've finally met my perfect match.

I guess it's true what they say: good things DO come to those who wait.

Yes,people. I finally got the perfect white lace top that I've always wanted and I couldn't be happier : )

More of happy days ahead, I hope : )

My mouth is currently dysfunctional hence the writing

2008-07-14T22:20:00.005+08:00

I am a bit pissed. My maid burnt a gorgeous new top I just bought the day before. Urghhh. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that I'm still recovering from the aftermath of the operation hence the silence response. If only she knew the words that were echoing in my mind at that time...I bet she must be pleased that I'm as helpless as I am right now, LOL.

Anyway, John's flight back to Melbourne is tonight, in fact any moment now. And as much as I don't want to return to Melbourne just yet, I suddenly miss my Daniel a lot =( And the fact that I still can't carry out a decent conversation properly due to my sore throat just makes it worse cause that simply means I can't talk to him over the phone yet plus I'm not a big fan of text messages.

I am currently just lazing around the house and getting as much rest as I could possibly get in hopes of recovering a.s.a.p so that I can enjoy life more the way I've been doing so for these past couple of weeks =) I haven't met up with the people I intend to meet up before I leave for Melbourne again and yes, that includes you pipon! But as always, it's quality over quantity right haha. Then again,it doesn't hurt to have both =) On a separate note, I'd LOVE to see my KDU pals especially Liyana and Xing Yi! God I miss them truck loads =( And I promise to myself that I will make a point to see you, Shima (don't think you're reading this, but anyway). And I'd love to catch up with my childhood friend who's in the States but now back in KL, Aza and some TKC friends especially Anat, Mizah and some others. These are the names of people I must see so hopefully, our paths will cross soon.

Ooooh did I mention that my exam results were out already? I must say I'm pretty happy with it, except for maybe OB =P I've put in a bit more effort this semester in the sense that I've started going for lectures,tutes and all that and I'm surprised with the outcome =) To sum it all up, I think I had a good dose of fun and a healthy dose of nerd-ish time so looks like life's pretty good and I'm liking it so far.

Anyway, I've got to run a few errands this week - appointment with the specialist, give my dad the book list, buy my usual eyeliner, find the friggin blusher (MAC/Bobbi Brown?), alter my pants, start brisk-walking with my mom again, bla bla. But what I'm really looking forward to is to shop and to get that white-lace top I just saw and probably get the same top that my maid just burnt,the shoes I've been eyeing over the weekend and a gorgeous long emerald green Greecian dress (I hope they still have it!) *fingers crossed*

Anyway, I'm thinking of enrolling in French or media journalism this coming semester but apparently, Melbourne Uni offers it only on first semesters. Grrrrrrreat. Just when I had the leverage to choose an elective subject, I'm now stuck with shitty options. By the look of things, I'm probably gonna wind up choosing a finance subject. I long for the days where students are not subjected to admin confinement.

Wow, I've written bits and pieces here and there huh. I guess this sorta thing happens when you can't use your mouth to effectively communicate your thoughts/feelings. I'll try to be more issue-specific the next time =)

Confessions of a bored citizen

2008-07-02T18:17:00.007+08:00

I'm so sick and overtly disgusted with all the political filth that's going on here. And I'm not even here half the time all that shit's happening. Yeah sure, conspiracy and some dirt may be exciting for some certain people, but haven't they had enough?

I'm not supporting anyone in this case but you don't have to be a goddamn genius to tell that in the most obvious manner, the cards are not being dealt right. And the funniest thing is that how some of the lies spat out were downright stupid and degrading and what seems to me to be lacking of some intuitive professional judgements- an insult to the public's intellectual capacity! I know there are people like me who just can't be bothered to read or watch the news about the political tales that our so-called democratic country is currently facing . And I know there are people out there who are willing to go that extra mile to find the truth. And I hope they do but until that day, I'm happy to invest my time and brain cells on something other than what's reported in the papers right now.

The first 7 days

2008-06-29T23:03:00.007+08:00

I'm actually blogging from the wireless which I never knew existed in my house. Must be the extended connection or something.

Anyway,this whole week has been so AWESOME for me! These past few days have been absolutely full and I like it that way. Had family gatherings 3 nights straight and my whole family (I think it was around the 20 of us) had Japanese food at Midori, JW Marriott for lunch today.Can't wait for next week though,my dad said he's taking us for Chinese in Lake Club. God I miss that place! Speaking of which I also miss my cousin Jasmin. And now that my favorite cousin's finally coming back from UK, I friggin can't believe that her flight to KL's on the SAME day I'm heading back to Melbourne! Whaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttt!?? That's the only blunder so far =(

Believe it or not, I haven't got a clue on what's going on around me in terms of the local news or events or even the movies on screen here in KL. Being a hopeless citizen doesn't help especially when I don't have my sister (who's usually the one who updates me on almost everything) with me right now. Thank God I've got my mom to do that. And thank God mom loves shopping too. Quite frankly, I prefer spending the day shopping with my mom (if not myself) than with other people.I guess I've always been that kind of person. I have fun choosing clothes for her, heading to the make-up shop and choosing the right lipstick color or picking out shoes and bags with her. We're both so into it so it's so much fun that I don't mind doing it everyday (And it helps when she's the one with the credit card) ;)

Apart from my life here, nothing new is going on except for maybe my operation this coming weekend. My appointment with the specialist is on friday and there's a hefty 99.99% chance that I'll have my tonsils removed come that weekend. And YES, I am freaking out but I try not to think about it and leave the worrying part on that day itself. =/ Hopefully everything goes well insyaAllah. Anyways,I wonder if they can preserve my tonsils? Perhaps put it in a jar or something.Haha, NOT the right question to be asking ey =P

Hurmm I wonder how my friends are doing back in Melbourne? I'm missing my usual gang but then again, most of them are coming back anyway so I'll just meet up with them here. I'll probly just give Liyana and Badd a call since they won't be coming back this time. Apart from that, I'm also missing Mr. Spaghetti Boy, as my uncle would call em =P It's good that I'm back, at least they get to take some time off from me hehe. I admit, I can be a pain in the arse sometimes =P

Okay, I better stop writing now because in an hour,I'll be busy cheering for my baby Casillas to make a save though I don't even support Spain ;) I'm rooting for Germany to win but at the same time, I hate Lehman so I really don't give a crack whoever the winner is. May the best team win (then again we all know it's partly about luck).

It's good to be back!

2008-06-24T00:05:00.005+08:00

Thank God for Malaysian food,Astro and my house!

1) The amount of food I've been stuffing up since I got back is alarmingly scary.
2) I think it will be Germany and Russia(not that I care if it were Russia/Spain) in the finals.I would've loved to see Netherlands play against the Germans though.
3) If there's one thing I've learnt from the EUFA cup,it's that European guys are painfully painfully gorgeous!I've got a crush on this one particular Croatian player (his name is yet to be known but hey,I'll google him or something)
4) Cik Afifah has a debate tourney next week so good luck,pips! :) Debate has (yet again) interfered with our plans.Haihhh.
5) I plan to do absofuckinglutely nothing this holiday.Aaaaaahh...the luxury of free time.
6) I'm gonna spend a lot of my time catching up on sleep and money on books and movie tickets. I have been deprived of good entertainment due to the inevitable course of nature (exams).
7) I'm craving for ramly burger,putu mayam,nasi kerabu,cendol and roti canai with kari kepala ikan.oooooh,and pakeeza's naan and cheese spinach and also kopitiam.
8) I surprisingly don't miss Melbourne too much which was what I was hoping for so it's all good. I miss the weather though!

A cold but sunny day.

2008-06-16T12:28:00.004+08:00

I think my Macbook needs a major make-over seeing how bad it is at the moment.

Anyway,ONE more paper to go and then i'm DONE for this semester, hopefully.

Just finished my IFA paper (and that's International Financial Accounting for those of you wondering) and boy was consolidation on minority interest darn hard! :( Other than that, I thought business finance and OB were both very do-able so hopefully, it's all good *fingers crossed*

On a lighter note, I'll be going back to good old KL this sunday! :) It's always good to be home. I'm just stoked to be back, I miss my family way too much and I just can't wait to bum around the house doing absolutely nothing and of course, get all the sleep I want. And probably start driving...lol.

And can someone please remind me to buy as many pirated dvds as I can? (Yes I know, I'm one of those people..lol) I've been deprived of good entertainment, I'm even embarrassed to say that I haven't watched iron man.Hah! Anyways, has anyone watched "Across the universe"? I wanna watch that, wonder if it's out in KL?

Anyway, there's a major stock clearance here and I can't wait to hit the stores right after my last paper this thursday. I'm in a generous mood of buying some gifts for some people lol :)

Ok,people. Will write more later when I have the time. Have a good day!

I love my baby

2008-06-06T22:30:00.011+08:00

I am the proud owner of this wonderful Macbook for 6 months (thanks to SC of course), and sad to say that it had only been recent am I able to utilize the functions of this wonderful and extraordinary machine. Thanks to the very simple tutorials and guided tour, Mac OS X Leopard can now go on full blast! When I first started using it, I only relied on words of wisdom from Nabila and Mika to get me through. Thanks guys. Contrary to popular beliefs, Mac is not complicated, it's just complicated because it's not Windows.

I'm loving the widget and dashboards - it keeps me updated, Spaces - it keeps me organized in doing my work, Adium - where my Gtalk, MSN and Yahoo messengers are under one roof, Time Machine - no worries of backup files (tho I haven't got a backup drive yet due to the tight financial constraint) and yesterday, I stopped using Mozilla Firefox and am in the process of permanently converting to Safari - the speed is a 'bit' faster. I'm planning to explore more of the applications through the tutorials online, once Australs in Ateneo, Manila is over...

Now, all I need now is my own personal digital camera to make my day :) . Peer pressure has gotten into me since everyone around is carrying a shiny new digital camera.

[Last line needs to be considered again and again due to financial constraints and the sudden increase in petrol that will DEFINITELY affect the lives and pockets of yours truly]

Ezanee, I'm back!!

2008-06-01T19:25:00.006+08:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

I love this poem and never failed to be awed by the simplicity, honesty and greatness of it. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded of some hint of greatness and inspiration especially at times where time passes on so quickly that it's really hard to keep track on what's going in your life.

Here's a celebration to new and old friendships ; there's a lot of If's in life, and friendship is one of the few things that's very much certain. For friendship is the one that has been carrying me around these past few months...

I love Ronald

2008-05-13T21:35:00.003+08:00

That's it,people.

I'm officially addicted to McD, more than I've ever been in my entire life! I mean, it's incredibly majestic how I've yet to discover any shop that makes better fries than theirs. I've been splurging a hell lot on food lately, and half of it goes into the funds of these franchises, lol.

I'm def having another triple cheeseburger, large fries and their barbeque sauce this weekend (but seriously,0.50 AUD cents for a small packet of bbq sauce? geeeez.)

Anyway, my finals are in more or less 3 weeks so I thought I'd be using my lock-yourself-up-in-your-room-and-study,study,study plan, but I'm glad I've settled on a rather more enlightening (and voluntary) approach instead: spend a good couple of hours in the library. I'm happy with the latter, and if I keep it up, I hope things will turn out for the better.

Gosh I think I've been listening to too much of feist's "one evening" & clap your hands and say yeah!'s "in this home on ice", haha totally opposite songs! but really, i need a change of tunes,speaking of which I also can't wait for a change of scenery. Yes people, I shall be going back to KL (yet again) on the 24th june, insyaAllah. Flying back with daddy dearest since he'll be visiting me here some time during my exam and we'll be going back together after that. Can't wait to see my dad =)

Back to the topic of change, I REALLY can't wait to go back this time. I haven't planned anything and I don't plan to because all I really want is to just spend time with my whole family especially my dear sister,my brother and my lovely parents, and of course, the family gatherings and all that. Gosh I'm suddenly missing everyone back home! My grandma(s), my cousins, aunts & uncles. Basically,EVERYONE! Love them. *OK,now i want to grab the first flight home* =( Oh wait, I almost totally forgot about my operation haha. Now THAT'S something I'm NOT looking forward to.

Anyway, it's been so long since I've touched a book other than Deegan's International Financial Accounting or Peirson's Business Finance =P Recommendations, anyone? I'm ready to invest in books again.

Funny how I'm just staring blankly at the empty fillet-o-fish box while typing and hoping that someone would give me seconds or thirds,LOL. I really have to start jogging but heck, it's almost friggin winter here so there goes my plan. Then again, a few friends invited me over to play futsal at Albert park this friday, Can't promise but will def consider.At least I get to shed some kilos off should I decide to go.

Okey dokey, that's it from me.

Later.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned

2008-05-10T00:28:00.005+08:00

I can think of 100 reasons why I'm such a bad person.

Everyday, I have to live with that guilt.

It breaks my heart to think that I'm not being honest at all. And to think that honesty should come first, I feel worse. I feel like I'm digging my own grave and that all it takes is a little shove for me to fall in that hellhole I've created.

Why can't I reciprocate the same way? I'm just too selfish, and I think only for no one but myself. I don't mean to play around with his feelings, but that's how things are at the moment. I have a tendency to think that the ball is always at my court even though I know it isn't. And even if it is, it won't take long before the ball shifts to the opposite end.

On one hand, you try to do the right thing by ending it cause you know you're gonna save the frustration of prolonging the problem. On the other hand, you tell yourself the timing isn't right, but who am I kidding?

The timing is almost never wrong but I never seem to make it right.

I end up hurting not just him, but myself and also others too,and the problem seems to get bigger and bigger by the day. It's so much complicated, and harder than I think it is.

Some people say love is knowing when to let go,so I guess I don't love you enough to let you go. And the worst part is, I wish it stays this way forever. . .

3.08a.m

2008-05-02T03:03:00.003+08:00

Abg. Hairi, Jamming session dah habis but now I'm left with being emo je tak tentu pasal. Less emo songs next time perhaps?

Nabila, I miss you la. There's so many things I want to tell you now. And most probably the stuffs I want to tell you are stuffs that you already know or have heard coming from me since the first time you've heard me speak but I could never find the same comfort in anyone else but you.

Faiz and Nabilah Ulfah, we are definitely cool.

Pjat, thanks teman I stay up!! (just hope the pak guards tak kacau)

It's 3.08 am and I might not be feeling the same way about all this tomorrow. Good night!

I love the acoustic version!

2008-04-30T22:25:00.003+08:00

Cocorosie's "By your side".

Cocorosie's "Terrible Angels"

2008-04-25T23:26:00.003+08:00

I just realized that I don't have much to blog about these days.

And that, I find, pretty weird or shall I say unusual.

That aside, everything else in my life is pretty much the same.

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at this point. I've just finished 4 mid-semester tests and assignments, all of which were in less than 2 weeks! I'm telling you, I deserve to have the greatest weekend ever for putting up with all those shit and surprisingly, am still very much alive.

Wow...How did I do that,again? ;P

Anyways, the very first thing I'm going to do tomorrow morning (that is assuming that I stick to the plan) is to do my laundry then it's Venom (it's a small boutique near where I live) for me. I've spotted a simple yet gorgeous black lace top which I've always wanted and now I'm just a few hours away from getting - no, WEARING it! =) No words can best describe how happy I am (although my bank statements would beg to differ) but hey,a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do =P

Other than that, I'll just spend a significant amount of time just being domestic - you know...groceries,cooking,vacuuming the house,cleaning my room and all that. And after I feel better after having to do all that, I'll definitely do some accounting work and catch up on past lectures. Will I go out with the boyfriend tomorrow night? Hope so! It's been so long since we actually went out on a dinner date or anything, I really miss those moments. You know what I really want? To really dress up, perhaps wear that black top with my 4-inch ankle boots and pull my hair back and put some make-up on and have a nice dinner or supper with Daniel.Argggghhhh,it's so hard when your bf's actually working 6 days a week =( Oh well - life.

Yikesss,it's almost 3 am here in Melbourne,should be sleeping right now.

It's gonna be a long day tomorrow...

2008-04-21T22:40:00.005+08:00

I hate it when guys cave in to their problems, and to make things worse, when they don't tell you what's on their mind.

Or maybe it's just him.

I mean, what do you make out of that? Are you expected to just naturally understand or pretend to, or is none expected of you?

You try to be understanding and all that, but the lack of information isn't helping.

And so you get more upset, but you don't want to let him know cause you think it's best to save him from unnecessary burden. Your girlfriends think so too.

Yeah,it's all good.

But then,shitty days happen and we all don't like shitty days, especially me. Because on shitty days, my mood turns ugly and shitty too.

And to prove my point, I blabbered something really really hurtful and snapped at him when it wasn't really his fault.

Oh my, the guilt!

A shitty day then turns to more shitty days, thanks to myself.

And so he stopped calling,or texting for awhile - it seems forever!

You try to make up for it, but he's too hurt to even bother talking to you.

You just want to let him know that you didn't mean any of it, and that YES IT WAS MY FAULT, and that you're sorry and that you love him so much.

You try,again and again and again,more than your 10 fingers can count. Still no response.

You end up feeling miserable during the predicament. You miss his company, you miss his voice , his touch, his laugh, and just HIM.

I got a taste of my own medicine,all right.

And now thank God everything's back to normal (except for the caving in part but hey,I can live with that).

At times like these, you start to really realize just how much he means to you.

You just can't wait for Thursday to end so you can spend time with him again =)

Bila saya rajin, akan saya update...

2008-04-19T01:23:00.007+08:00

Abg. Syazwan and his cool designs. Afifah finally holding the champions cheque. Yes, sad thing.

Dear friends,

I'm sorry I couldn't post up pictures now or reports of interschool like what have been requested. I was carrying the camera with me the whole time but was caught up in the whole business of coordinating the event. So, I'm waiting from some people to send their pics to me and after that I'll gather them and post it.

On a separate note, I'm really happy with the team I have for this coming AUDC. It might be one that is out of my comfort-zone but I'm glad that it's one of my closest friends and one of my best partner during one of the leagues. I just hope the chemistry now translates back to the team.

Throw that record away

2008-04-11T15:59:00.006+08:00

Statistically,there is strong evidence to show that my life is moving at an upward accelerating rate,m'afraid not by my own choice.

Hence, I can no longer afford to meddle with trivial stuff which I so often used to (and while trivial may be a subjective word, what I mean by it includes dwelling upon everyday emotional encounters with the people and surrounding i.e. the bf (sometimes), the crowded tram, the ever-changing weather, the ridiculous amount of workload and perpetual mid-sem tests, my health problem, just to name a few..)

If you ask me, my life is currently being dictated by a superior force called UNI. And although under normal circumstances, I would normally curse my fate, I think it's about time to take full responsibility of my own life. The weird thing is, I think I secretly find this kind of life amusing, ha ha. I mean, I've possibly been the worst impulsive slacker there is, so shifting my focus to being quite the opposite is just as hard as throwing your favorite old record away or watching your favorite pair of shoes get bitten by a stray dog. Yeah, that's it.

My point is; it's hard making these changes but heck, do I really have a choice?

NO.

And that, ladies & gents, made all the difference.

It's times like this that I miss Nabila and Tia

2008-04-10T19:54:00.007+08:00

I was unable to get out of bed this morning. After a few days of a runny nose, the ultimate cold is here. I just hope I'll be ok enough tomorrow . I feel bad leaving Zamir alone to call up the judges that is so desperately needed (we have 89 teams this year people! so you can do the maths of how many judges are needed!), I feel bad towards Izat and the other PC committee members pasal selalu tinggalkan mereka buat backdrop and banners, susun-susun meja for dinner. I'm trying to do the best with my situation by sending up some articles to RATIO, the official bulletin this time around. Mah, Nabilah and Faiz is putting a lot of effort in it so do pray that it will turn out great.

I'm always impressed with our BM debaters, the work and commitment they put into organizing this tournament is awesome. You don't know how many challenges they're facing - especially financially. Thus, let's hope and pray that this interschool will be an pretty awesome one like the others!

I hope the girls will do well this time around. The last time we broke was back then in 2005.

p/s: Atif, I'll be sure to post up pictures of the tournament here. Mau request any specific pics pun boleh!

3 years ago..

Yeah, we like taking pictures with our adjudicators back then

Fareez dulu.

Tia yang best! Nabila 3rd speaker selalu duduk hujung, tu lah pasal tak nampak :). Hye Irving.

I have a feeling that Ezanee was judging this.

Ayap and Anati macam adik-beradik. Anati will be debating this year!

...

2008-04-09T13:32:00.003+08:00

Girl:
You want to settle down, let’s not go there
I’m still young, let’s play fair

Boy:
Yes, it might be faraway
But we still have to think about it someday

Girl:
You make me tell all the story
But this time, I’ll let my silence do the talking

I just want to listen
And this time, I promise I’ll be quiet

Boy:
Can you tell me all your observations?
Cause I just had my best conversation

Please don’t tell me I need a reason
You’re with me..

It's sad.Heart-wrenching.

2008-04-07T17:46:00.002+08:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=550549&in_page_id=1770

of being emo selalu

2008-04-06T23:55:00.004+08:00

Love is blind, it makes people go stupid, it makes people sacrifice themselves, it makes people lose their identity and who they are, it makes people be who they're not supposed to be (and I point this out in a negative mode). Tapi, please lah...

How can you live with only love? How long can you remain blind and see that things are not as perfect as you think or potray it to be. Can't you see that you're turning for the worse? I heard love is supposed to make a person be a better person, but it's different with you. 10 years from now, is love itself enough to sustain a relationship?

If this is love - I don't want to be anywhere near it. Yeah, I said it and all of you can say how miserable and cruel I am.

[I can't believe that there still exist some good malay telemovie left on tv, just watched one at rtm2 and I like everything about it except the actress. Actually, she acted quite well for me to really dislike her, and yes, it relates to the above.]

There's always two sides of a story Geert! part 1

2008-04-02T21:31:00.007+08:00

For it is not up to me, but to Muslims themselves to tear up the hateful verses from the Al-Quran

Muslims wants you to make way for Islam, but Islam does not make way for you

The Government insists that you respect Islam, but Islam has no respect for you

Islam wants to rule, submit and seeks to destroy our Western Civilization

In 1945, Nazism was defeated In Europe

In 1989, communism was defeated in Europe

Now, the Islamic ideology has to be defeated

Stop Islamisation

Defend our freedom

some lines from "fitna"(hahaha, no wonder why it's called fitna!)

I have to say that at first I was furious when I watched it. I don't even know whether it's permissible for me to watch it knowing that it's something that insults the very reason for my existence. On the spirit of this blog which is to "let the world think what the want", the only thing I have to say for now is that, yes, people should be allowed to have their freedom of opinion, but please.. your opinion must be based on something that you know, something that you know is based upon something that's concrete and not based upon your limited knowledge( or should I say zero knowledge). For you to say that "Islam is a retarded culture, and the Koran is the very reason for that" is being totally ignorant of the nature of man. In my opinion, even if you might find my religion a retarded one, I would say what happens right now, all the cruelty that you say is happening is not due to the following of practising the teachings of the Al-Quran, it's due to NOT following it. Culture and religion should be distinguished. Yes, a religion may influence culture but does the religion condone that part of the culture that you say is being propagated by the religion?

The movie was bad. Really bad. But if you ask me, the main reason why the movie was so bad is not on the 'insulting muslims part' but it's the called nit-picking. Taking some verses, translating it literally, connects it to some cruel events that even most Muslims would never tolerate, and then generally labels the whole religion and it's teaching as that. Assuming that it's the very purpose of that religion.

If there's one thing I learned, is that the Al-Quran should never be interpreted independently without the other verses. Ok, I shall put up the other verses when I get back from IIU.

The one with the unfinished Contracts revision

2008-03-29T14:41:00.004+08:00

Siapa nak ikut sekali? I know it's corny but jom lah!! Since Celine Dion's tour price range is way above what I can afford, why not this? :) Maybe I can treat Mama to this instead but I doubt she'll be jumping out of her seat hearing this. Alan Menken's music is one of my best childhood friends, it would be interesting to revisit it.

Mama told me yesterday that May might be another interesting month for Malaysian politics. It is rumoured and I couldn't again stress, rumoured DSAI has 50 people from the national front willing to join him and if my calculation serves me right, that's enough for the opposition to form a new government with him as the PM. I have no idea whether this is even permitted by the law or how this is even possible but then again, it is a rumour.

Let's see..

And the worst part is when you can't do anything about it

2008-03-29T09:05:00.001+08:00

I wish some things were different
Where you and I were more similar in other ways
Yet different is the reason why I like you so much

This whole religion thing’s not the problem for now, but then who am I kidding? Of course it matters. The fact that it matters is the reason why I wish some things were different.

I hate goodbyes

2008-03-29T08:55:00.002+08:00

I hate goodbyes

I MISS MISS MISS my mommy :(

The one with the future uncertainties!

2008-03-28T23:22:00.006+08:00

Something

Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me

I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe her now

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe her now

You're asking me will my love grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around now it may show
I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe her now

From one of the group that successfully stands through the test of time and apparently this is most played song in afifah's ipod right now after If I Fell and With You.

Anyway, my dermatologist used to say (back when I was 13ish and even in my pre-adult-teen-years) that when you get older, you won't face breakouts anymore or even if they do come, they only come once in a while because it's all due to the instability of hormones when you're a teenager. Oh how wrong they were!

I'm 20 years old and am still facing the same problem. Today, I had this sinking feeling it will never go away. And it's a sad sad realization.

A perfect stranger

2008-03-25T22:38:00.007+08:00

I wish that we had met each other at a different circumstance
Like in a restaurant when I am dining with someone else

We’d brush shoulder against each other for a second
And just when you start to come nearer, I’d beckon’

You say sorry, I stare and you glance back
But then I turn and walk away and leave it like that

Because if you ever did ask for my name or ask me out for dinner
I wouldn’t know if I could ever say no for an answer.

The one with the irregular postings

2008-03-16T18:51:00.002+08:00

Nabilah told me the other day that 'Once you've reached 20, turning 30 will be in a blank of an eye'. It does sounds right eventho it's been only a day.

For the 1st time in my life, I really feel like an adult and it's not a bad thing.

[Final exams will start next Friday till the 5th of April. Wish me luck! I need all the luck this time.]

2008-03-13T19:51:00.002+08:00

I really like Organisational Behaviour.
And I don't mind accounting at all.Hope it's not too early (or late) to say that.
I am,however,indifferent about Business Finance or Quantitative Methods2. I mean,sure I don't hate the subjects but they don't exactly give me a sense of happiness either so there you go..
My point is,I can see myself working harder for this semester,which I suppose would be a good thing.I mean,I really don't have a choice now that it's my second year and possibly THE most crucial time ever,academic-wise.

On a personal level,I honestly have no idea where I stand.Oh shit,does sound bad, doesn't it? Lol.I am inept or perhaps just ignorant (to be exact) at letting myself, or other people know about my whereabouts (apart from the fact that I am confused with myself,needless to say). Let's just say that I'm in my comfort zone - whether it's my relationship,my weight,academics or as far as my financial prowess is concerned. I know I've got to kick it up a notch, but sometimes life is just bearably dull for me to argue or take notice. All I need is a better wheather (it's fucking 38-40 degrees here!), a good day at the gym and a nice dose of dark chocolate to boost my endorphine level.Then I should be fine :)

Anyways,it's Easter holiday nest week and I'm counting the days before I get to see my mom - less than a week,woohoo! I miss her. It'll be interesting to see how we'll spend our time together cause usually it's us and the whole family so yes,I'm looking forward to it! I haven't planned much plus I don't plan to jinx it but basically,what I have in mind so far is Great Ocean Road (fingers crossed) and the rest would probably be the normal shopping,touring around the city and eating out - all expenses paid courtesy of mommy dearest :) Hope you'll have a safe journey,mom.

Oh God,it's almost friggin midnight here and I am somewhere in the secluded area of the comp lab right now due to the (unsurprisingly) spastic internet problem at my place. Bleurghhh. Will post something soon. Enjoy the upcoming weekend :)

For a change

2008-03-04T00:03:00.006+08:00

Bumped into a friend in Melbourne Central just as I was helping myself to the original glaze doughnuts I bought in Krispy Kreme minutes before. Well... more like a friend of a friend but I think it's safe to say that we're friends now all right =)

Anyway,I offered her some in which she graciously accepted one. The next thing I know, I was having the best conversation I had in about a week or so.

As much as I was hoping to avoid the topic though, it came up anyway.

Here we go. Not again.

I mean, telling it is no biggie but having people question my choice was another thing.

"Oh my god,FINALLY," she said with a cheerful smile.

I shot a (hopefully) honest smile back, and grin sheepishly.

"Tell me about it. How did it happen, who is it and all that."

Honestly, I hate explaining those kind of things - what more for the umpteenth time but I did my best to answer in a brief few minutes.

We then spoke for a further 20 minutes or so and you know what?

I'm really glad that I bumped into her and for the conversation itself.

Very liberating.

Sometimes it's easier (and perhaps healthier) to have a conversation with a stranger (well,she obviously wasn't one but you know what I mean) than to have it with someone really close to you. I don't know...I think the objectivity helps,and the fact that they don't know you too well makes it more enlightening and less judgemental from both mine and her part. It's always interesting to a get a fresh new perspective and it amuses me how things intertwined - turned out we both were on the same wavelength and on the same boat (wherever that is...LOL) =p

2008-02-29T21:45:00.004+08:00

You try to stay cool and you tell yourself that everything will be fine. Sometimes, you're good at it and other times, you're not.

I've learnt so many things from myself and from other people - first is that sometimes, you're better off not talking to some certain people because some things are better dealt differently, or left unsaid. In all honesty, as much as you try to make amends or make up for some certain things, things aren't always gonna be the same and so you'd have to learn to accept that things have changed and there's really nothing you can do but to move on. Experience with a family member of mine and a friend tells me that.

Sometimes, you're gonna hear things you don't like and you have a choice on how to take it. I've always been the oblivious type of person who'd rather not face the reality because it's just something I choose to avoid dealing with but as of now, I think I'm starting to move to the opposite direction. Going there.

Don't expect things to be the same as they were when you're with someone short enough, because it will never be. And expect things to be the way they are when you're with someone long enough because more often than not, they always are. I think I've said enough on this one.

People are just wired differently hence it's okay to not be friends with everyone. Really, you don't have to.

Today I was wearing pink not for that zaimah, the team name for this weekend debate league says it all.

2008-02-24T01:02:00.001+08:00